Drex called it right.

This place is all about building and rebuilding marriages. It is not about making people feel good. I and others validate pain and misery - most having experienced it ourselves. But those of us who have either recovered our marriages or recovered our singular lives didn't do so without a LOT of work and gumption. Part of that work is realizing that we have to stand up and face what's been dealt us. Bad things happen to good people. Life is not fair. There is scant justice when infidelity occurs. The sooner a BS accepts these facts, the closer they are to recovery.

There's a popular question on this forum that is oft asked because it's so appropriate for the common newbie BS pitfall of getting stuck on how to show and right the wrongs done by the WS:

Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?

WAT
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Starve a mosquito, donate blood and platelets.

Hi Deceived- I'm new to this, too. I can't believe how similar our situations/ H's are. Mine cries, begs, professes undying love. The OW was a "friend"/ "damsel in distress"- which by the way, as women, you and I both know is the OLDEST trick in the book to get a man's attention! This site had helped me prove to him that what he had was an EA, on it's way to a PA, and prove how much he hurt me. We've done the "Policy of Radical Honesty"- which he's agreed to, but there's still a trust issue with me. We also did the EN questionnaire- both have helped A LOT. I've gone through ALL the same feelings as you. Slowly, I'm beginning to feel OK again, and if you try Plan A, and the others (above). My husband would like to have me "get past it", too, but that won't happen. Without being in our shoes they'll never really know how it feels. So, I include my H in these discussions, and this site, and he's been participating. The comments (to me) from other mambers have really opened his eyes. Good Luck!

My WH said they were JUST FRIENDS too. Even when he knew I was talking to OW he still denied.I think they really start to convince themselves that nothing wrong is going on. As far as Trust, I will never trust him again ever.He lost that years ago.

I want to thank all of you for your advice. Drex you have been exceptionally helpful, so thank you. While I don't know what the future holds for our marriage, I do know what I want and I will do whatever it takes to make myself happy once again. I wish everyone luck in this forum. I will continue to check on everyone's progress.

God Bless !!