Hi,

Total seperation is difficult in this situation but it can be done. He certainly doesnt need to be having anything to do with her right now. I am assuming the baby is not born yet. There is no reason for contact to be ongoing at this time. He doesnt need to be supporting her or anything like that. Hopefully he is devoting his full attentions to rebuilding with you.

After the baby is born, if you chose contact with the OC, you can have as much or as little contact with OW as you want. there are ways around just about everything.
contact can be done through daycare, you can be contact person. There are ways, dont despair.

Sorry that you are going through this. it seriously suxs. you found a great site though. read everything you can here, both in the forums and the wider website. It is a great tool for rebuilding what has been lost.

hugs

carolyn

Thanks for the advice Carolyn. No the baby is not here yet she is only six weeks or so. However, she calls him about everything from money for viatmins and oj. I mean everything! She says that she is not interested in having a relationship with him. But I find that hard to believe. I really thinks she does this to cause more problems between us and even to aid in me leaving him. Especially, since her entire family has black balled her.

The C now needs to completely stop, no if's and's or butt's about it!!! While you guys are waiting for the baby to be born and then get the proof that it is your H is the time for you guys really work at the marriage. Your H needs to put you and your marriage first and this is the perfect time to do it. If the child is his you will have alot to deal with the next 18 years so this year will be what you need to get your marriage on the right track.

Best way to handle it is have your husband write her a letter and say that he has realized that you and your marriage are important to him and that he is going to give it all he has to make it up to you for their dumb mistake and no more contact until it is time for the dna test.

It is her problem now about money for OJ, and it is her problem that she has to go thru this all alone, she should of thought of that before she lifted her skirt.

Leave the decision what to do about C with child after it is proven to be his up to your husband. We have decided on NC of either.

If he wants C with the OC NC is still possiable by involving a third party, like grandparents or etc. where you can arrange to pick up and drop OC

If that is not option then you will have to set some rules and be firm. Like phone calls must be short and brief and only about OC, they must be made while you are in the room. If she calls while you are out of the house then he must tell you about the call the minute you return home. And so on.

I cant stress enough that for now until the OC is proven to be his, that all C must come to a complete stop!!!