Curious,

How would your lives change if you lost 200#?

What changes would you make?

Julie

Both of my parents lived life large. For as long as I can remember, they were big. I would look at other kids parents who were skinny and think, "What's the matter with them? Do they not eat enough?" I thought I was gonna grow up to be big too.

Well, I didn't do that. Both of my parents didn't change their habits of eating and exercising and as a result have a myriad of health issues in the mid 50's. Both have had gastric bypass, now they can hardly eat anything at all. Mom's heart is failing, she's had to have a pace maker put in at 54. Dad was misdiagnosed for years before a doc finally discovered he has Cushings Disease. He's undergone surgeries to try to fix that. They're both walking pharmacies. Blood pressure meds, heart meds, all kind of stuff.

Some of their weight came off as a result of the gastric bypass, but they were certainly disappointed with the results. I think if they lost 200 pounds each, they'd be healthier, less miserable and as an end result, happier.

My WH had gastric bypass. This was the turning point in our marriage. He stopped holding my hand the minute he started loosing weight. He took new hobbies new friends, did not want anything to do w/ the people in his old life, including me. He left everbody from his old life behind. He has changed so much, I don't know who he is. The kids refer to him as old dad and new dad. They do not particularly like the new dad. Old dad was such a doting father and husband. WH does not see any of this, he sees himself and just doesn't care about the pain he causes.

I wish I could be happy for him because he is soooo happy. We should be happy for other people that are happy.

I don't understand how weight can change who we are.

just having a sad day,

julie

I know many people who need to lose 20 to 50 pounds, some folks who need to lose 100 pounds....but I know very few who need to lose 200! That would put just about anybody in the morbidly obese catagory and I have no doubt that losing that much weight would change that person's life in a big way.

JJ, try to look at it from a self esteem/self worth issue. 200 pounds is a complete other person. 200 pounds is me! I think he's feeling better about himself and it trying out the new him.

JJ,

Watch out my WW lost about 50lbs and decided the new her needed an A.

I agree Drexxell.....but if I remember correctly....he's not just wanting to try out the "new him"....he's also wanting to try out other new people too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> He turned from a devoted and loving husband and father to a man who wants more to do with his new "friends" than his family.

I'm certainly not justifying his actions. LOL Just saying, weight change will have an effect of people SOOO, I guess my suggestion is, If your spouse is losing weight, you better be the first to notice and you better be their biggest fan/supporter. If they start to feel better about themselves and feel that you don't feel better about them or think they're as hot and sexy as they do, they're gonna go somewhere else.

Hmmm... weight loss can be such a touchy issue. Personally, if I lost 200#, I'd disappear and then some!

When I was about 30# heavier than I am now, my H would occasionally make comments about how some outfit was unflattering or I needed to lose weight. Then a friend of mine lost about 40# and loooked awesome, so I said if she can do it so can I. So I lost about 30 pounds and, if I do say so myself, started looking pretty decent.

Did my H help in this regard? No, not one bit of support. He continued to try to tempt me with chips, ice cream, and other fattening foods. He didn't start complimenting me on how I looked until after he heard other people remark on it. This, from a guy who griped about my weight!!!

Unlike Eagle, I don't believe the weight loss had anything to do with my A. That was a poor choice that I made when I was vulnerable and too weak to protect myself from a smooth talking FOM who was supposed to be my friend. Would he have smooth talked me if I was 30# heavier? I don't know. But I don't feel putting the weight back on is going to affair-proof my M. Besides, there are too many heart and blood pressure ailments in my gene pool. I'm healthier now, and my H should be happy about that. But he still tries to tempt me with bad food. Ick.

I guess what I'm saying is I agree with Drexell's post above. If your spouse is looking/feeling better, you ought to share in his/her joy.

Drexel is soooo right on this one.

Great points now I want to through this in.

Any physical change especially one that big, LOL, will probably change someone.

My FWW had plastic surgery. A boob job and lypo and from that day forward she changed. Imagine my dread when I realized that she was going to need a test spin on her new self to justify how good she looked.

Before she had the A I told her I thought she was going to have one. Her A took place on a vacation back to her home state. I told her before she left I thought it was going to happen.

The kicker was that I lost 50 lbs myself right before she left on the trip. I was feeling better then I ever had about myself. Women were looking at me again and I was getting attention I hadn't gotten in years. All it did for me is make me realize how lucky I was that the woman I chose looked at me and loved me even when I was heavy. I knew some of these women showing me attention would have never done that when I was fat. It actually made me love my wife more.

I am very greatful not to have 200 pounds to lose. I was a bit pudgy the last few years and although my husband never commented or complained, he did chose thin women to cheat with. I suppose it is his preference and I have now lost the excess 20 I had put on. He raves about me! I am not impressed with his shallowness about this. I did not do it for him but for me. It was part of my focusing on me after I found out about his affair. I come first now for the first time in my life. It is a relief not to care what he thinks or worry about his opinion. I am free!