You ever get a thrill watching a match burn as you hold it?

I had tickets to an event at an amusement park and DD could not go so I asked an old acquaintance "J"(male friend and previous boss of WH)to go with me. Both of us are getting a D but neither D is final. I didn't feel like staying at home alone with DD out of town for 3 days and thought this would be a nice safe activity to talk. We had a great time, but I know he is going to be so much trouble.

1) After WH calls J asking for job leads and mentioning D, J askes WH for my email on pretense of needing tax help. At first I thought it was a set-up by WH since I'm filing on grounds of adultry. I think I'm scared even more by the realization that J's intent was to pursue his "friend's" soon to be x-wife.

2) I know it's far too soon for a serious relationship for either of us, not that I think that is what he is interested in.

3) DD is going to freak out! She still talks about how he was one of her favorite coaches in Jr High. How do you tell a 17 yr old that one of her hero's is interested in her mom.

4) I made it clear that I draw the line on certain things until both D's are final. However, he is a very competitive person and I'm afraid he sees that as a challenge. He proceeded to tell me exactly what he wanted to do to me in graphic detail. Not vulger; he knew exactly what he was doing to push my buttons. I finally had to ask him to leave before we advanced past only kissing.

5) He opened the car door for me and made me feel like I was the center of his attention all evening. That ego boost is so dangerous for me. It would be too easy to get used to.

6) He let me think I was in control yesterday evening. He even half joked about it. I suspect I will end up running him off when he tries to push me too far too fast.

I just want to let that match burn a little longer. Problem is that you think you can put out the match just before it burns you, but it never happens. Feel free to chew me out.

hmmm... I need to think on this one a bit before I respond!

mlhb

DD needs you to put her first. She's already dealing with the fallout of her family splitting. This particular OM should be off limits regardless of marital status.

You say you "are filing" not "filed" so to me that means a divorce is not even in process yet. You know how we all feel about that.

You're vulnerable to the attention. But you know better.

If you want to date, get divorced.

Sorry, wrong wording. Actually WH filed, & I countered on basis of his A. We're past the waiting period and he has had my very fair settlement offer for over a month. WH is holding things up. I don't think he has a very good lawyer.

I don't think I have to worry about telling DD anyway. J has been avoiding me since I said "NO". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'm still glad I asked him to go. It helped me realize that I really am over WH and that I'm ready for D to be final. It was scary, but it's nice to know some guys still find me attractive. I spent the last two days doing things by myself and I felt the best I have in over a year.