Nope. Definitely not a palmetto bug or roach. Those guys are bigger, brown, flat and shiny. Nice try, though. I have never seen these funky things before!

I know what you mean about bugs driving you nuts. When we first moved into our house, we had a problem with scorpions in the house because of all the construction. Ick. I don't have scorpions anymore, but not a day goes by when I don't see an ant, spider or (shudder) centipede in the house. I think we have the ant issue solved, though.

SadMommy--Is it a cicada bug? Here's the link, so you can check out a photo. If so, they're harmless.

http://www.ummz.lsa.umich.edu/magicicada/Periodical/Index.html

Nope. Not cicadas. I figured it out. Behold... the Florida Leaf-footed bug. Also harmless but really, really ugly (and stinky if you squish one):

http://community.webshots.com/photo/271074037/2764124050056387509qKFTNE

Ewwww. Thoses are really gross! Maybe you can bag up a couple hundred and dump them in an open window at the OW's house. LOL!

LOL!!! Gee, if only I wasn't so squeamish when it comes to the creepy crawly...

Those are nasty looking. I didn't realize that Ga had scorpions. I dealt with those in NM.My husband actually got stung by one. I had never even seen a tick until we moved here. As much as I love the outdoors I hate being outside here.

Ga scorpions aren't as bad as the ones out West, I think. They can sting you, but it's like a wasp sting... nothing too serious just painful. Thankfully that never happened, although I was worried b/c our cats liked to play with them!!!

In other news, I've started a new thread on the Divorced/Divorcing forum, as I signed the separation agreement today... I'm feeling down tonight, but I haven't cried about it.

OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! OW's XH just called, said they're planning to get married. He said she actually asked him if they could get married at his restaurant. He told her no. He said they were planning this for 6 months out.

He also said that OW isn't allows at the ILs, that WH's dad is "furious." Said his mom and sis are "upset, but accepting." He said he's not sure if they will follow through with their plans or implode. He said he told her that she needs to think long and hard about this, b/c his family will always hold this over her head, knowing she was involved before the divorce.

And he also said that WH's parents aren't getting along, that they plan to split when SIL graduates from college, and that it would be better if "WH only had to see FIL a couple times a year when they go fishing."

I feel like I'm going to hurl. I honestly don't know what to do. I mean, a lot can change in 6 months. A lot. And the fact that they've started their relationship under such bad circumstances.... but then again, he's probably planned this along, from whenever we met her 3 years ago.

I'm almost wondering if I should call FIL. If he's as upset as OW's X says, maybe he could give me some emotional support? But then, what would I say, and I'm mad at the ILs anyway for not calling me or anything since DD's b-day in January.

I called my lawyer, and there's nothing I can do about it. Her XH suggested having it say in the papers that WH agreed not to cohabitate with anyone for a year, but that won't work. The XH says WH's been living with OW for "weeks" and is using his apt for DD purposes only. The lawyer said the best we can do is bring him to court for contempt. But it only counts if he has DD and OW in the same place all night.

Please help me... what do I do? How do I live with this?? The thought of this awful person as my precious DD's stepmother is too much to take!!!

I live in extreme south GA and I haven't been unlucky enough to see scorpions my whole life here.

However, I did get bit by a Brown Recluse spider in my sleep last year and I almost died from it.

I even have a big nasty scar on my wrist where it got me and they had to cut the rotten spot out the size of a half dollar. It went necrotic within 24 hours and I had a massive infection and was hallucinating before they could get me to surgery.

I live in the blue ridge mountains and have lived in Ga all my life.
The bug YOU describe sounds like what my grandmother calls
a June Bug.
Their harmless, When my Grandparents were small they tied strings around them and let them fly.

((((SadMommy))))
I'm so sorry to hear the new development! My heart goes out to you! I hope that you have some support from someone close to you! Knowing me I probabaly would call FIL to verify info. and try to make since of it, because if that's the case then I'm sure that ILs will want to spend time with DD in the future! I really don't know what to say, still being kinda new here! But, you can handle this! Your strong and you have a world of support!

Monny... these bugs having a party on my tree were not June bugs. June bugs are rounder and browner with shorter legs, more beetle-like, IMO. These bugs were black with long knobby legs and really long red antennae.

But that's neither here nor there... I'm having an emotional crisis today with the news of WH's and OW's pending wedding plans...

SM05, my heart goes out to you. (After D-day I discovered the wedding registry that OW had created months earlier -- that knocked me on my rear for a few days. Garlic presses for their new life together!)

But six months is a loong way away and a lot can happen. One thing I've discovered during this whole ordeal is that a lot of things I've feared never came to pass. Or, if they did, God gave me the strength to handle them when the time came.

Try not to waste energy worrying about it. I have been the poster child for worry all my life, and I'm discovering that it really *is* wasted emotion. (Another life lesson this ordeal is teaching me ...)

sorry to hear this..it will not end pretty. not at all. i predict an in flames kinda ending for the affairees.

trust me...even if they do marry after your divorce, it is doomed. it is hyped up, the end all, the sacrificial relationship where all is sacrificed to the affair...and the fires of it burn and burn both parties involved quickly and spreads sparing neither of them.

so trust me...it will end.

i know my xh and it will end to...but sadly at what cost?

I find it HILARIOUS that an ow and her boyfriend/husband of MB'er would even REGISTER FOR WEDDING GIFTS when she is but a shameful mistress...and garlic press? perfect for her...stinky and pungent..perfect smell for an OW.

Sad,

Sorry to hear about your current situation.

The way I look at it is this. Ever own a car that has nothing but problems and then you want to sell it. The person buying the car knows all the problems with the car and buys it anyway. You feel relieved that you got rid of the broken down piece of junk and the buyer knows what they are getting themselves into.

There has to be some positives in the situation that you are overlooking. Closure might be one of them. Imagine if you were in Plan A only to find out he was still with OM. At least you know that it is over and you have tried your best.

You have kept your vows to god and everyone present at your wedding and he did not. So what do the vows he is about to take really mean?

Sad,

Our worst nightmare. I am so sorry. Somehow we have to come to grips that there is nothing we can do - its their life let them ruin it.

tdr

I've been real sporadic here lately with school and everything, but wanted to post to you.

Ow and Wh, too, have plans to marry. And have kids. OUch, huh?

I know how this feels, but I agree with everyone else--this is doomed. The world of hurt they have ahead of them is not something I want to be a part of. My heart actually breaks for the kind of life my WH is going to have now. It iwll never be as good as it could have been. That baggage is heavy. And he wanting to marry so quickly--it is only done to prove to himself that the horrible mess he has made (got that--HE HAS MADE!) was worth it. But it is not worth it. Sadly, he will realize this before it is too late.

I fret over OW and my boys being together as well. But the more and more I read and think about this, knowing it is not going to last, I worry more about the kind of dad WH is gonna be. OW will be fleeting. And again very sadly, we can't change the fact that our kids might be involved with other people our WH's date, etc. But we are in chargeof ourselves. We can be the best parent we can be. We can be consistent and loving and stable for them.

And I know you will be for your dd.

Don't let this drag you down, SM. You're gonna comeout of this in the long run miles ahead because you'll have the love of that little girl, and you'll have your diginity and the knowledge that you fought like he**.

Hang in there.

(((Sadmommy)))

I am so sorry to hear your update. From what I am hearing you say, this is less about WH and more about your DD. I wish there was something to make you feel better. But maybe the best thing to do at this point, is pray that OW will not be a negative influence on your DD. They say that recovery is harder than enduring the affair. Having to deal with an OP raising your child bites pretty hard too.

If WS coming home is hard and WS and OP living happily ever after stinks, I guess best case scenario is WS and OP break up, WS lives in a rat hole the rest of their life and BS skips happily into la la land. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Ahhh, to dream. (Oh, and OP comes down with a green pus filled STD that rots their genitalia off)

Thank you so much for posting, hoopsie, justpeachy, hurtingless, tdr (hey, where have YOU been?), intexas and Jean.

I'm of the opinion that WH and OW deserve each other. They're both selfish people, and it's almost interesting in a social experiment sense... how long will it last before he has to file bankruptcy?

You're right, hurtingless, in a sense, it IS closure. It lets me know that I'm not crazy, that he has been really lying this whole time. I like your broken-down car analogy.

And intexas, I agree with your sentiment. Part of me feels bad for WH, b/c he has chosen a path that is not nearly as good as what he could have had with our family.

Mostly, though, I grieve for DD. I worry about her not having the life she deserves, a mommy and daddy who love each other. And I'm scared to death thinking about this trashy, chain smoking, foulmouthed OW as my daughter's stepmother. I know she will try to buy DD's affection with gifts. My stomach turns thinking about the sentimental cards she gave her for B-day and Christmas that I didn't get to read. I can only imagine the fuss that will be made over my WH for Father's Day, which is a crock in my opinion.

But I do know that this is WH's chaos and not mine. He's the one who chose to leave a perfectly good family for trash. There's something wrong with him, not me. I mean... he left a smart, attractive, talented woman who has a decent job and loves to cook and bellydance, not to mention is raising his beautiful, talented DD. He left me for OW... smokes, can't cook, unemployed, shopaholic, fill in the blank.

Some people have told me to consider this a blessing, as in, it's not that I'm not "good enough" for him... he's not good enough.

On a more pleasant note, I had a great time this evening. I went to visit my friend who's in my dance troupe. We had a glass of wine, chatted and practiced one of our dances. It was great therapy after the day I've had.

I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about them marrying. Usually it doesn't happen. I can't remember the exact statistics, but around 75% of affair partners never marry.