It's all becoming a surreal nightmare to me. The confession of my H's affair, the thought that I was naive enough to think "it could never happen to me...", (my H is not the most handsome man alive) why would he do this, etc, etc, etc. I'm having a hard time coping.<BR>I appologize for not being able to offer advise to all of your posts. I continue to seek your wisdom and understanding when perhaps there is none. I believe my marriage is over. Doomed. Finished. I do not have any more strength, courage, desire, or encouragment from H to continue fighting for the salvation of this marriage. H continues to want and need and desire his relationship with Mia. I want her to "die". Actually, if I could I want to get "rid" of her. But how unrealistic is that? I'm being honest here folks. Look at all the variables in our lives.... I was a less than perfect wife, Hubby was miserable because of me showing no attention to him, and Mia was at the right place at the right time. Now she is the one that shares his heart. Even though she stopped her affair with him, I can't seem to get close enough to make him look my way.

Even though I'm on the other side (this time) I was in the same spot you were three weeks ago. I wasn't with the OM anymore, but it seemed my H would never, ever forgive me and I basically wanted to die, end the marriage, end it all. <P>NOW, I am finding hope, and love, and so much more than I thought possible. <P>Please don't give up. You are just going through a rough patch. It's been hard, you blame yourself for things (like the money probs) but you're HERE, youre trying to find the answers. It IS HARD, and it sometimes is worse before it gets better. I just hate to see you so down <P>Please, please take care... I don't mean to sound trite, but go take a bubble bath, have a glass of wine, try to take care of YOU right now...<P>Hugs...<P>------------------<BR>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<BR>

Thanks for your uplifting words. If not for the salvation of my marriage, then at least for me. It takes (2) to make the "marriage partnership" work. I am the only one who is doing that. I am the only one who now wants to work. We are not now, nor have we been at the same place, at the same time in this marriage fixing thing. My H has all but given up. The only thing he cares about is his kids. He can continue his love and relationship with them without me in his life. The kids will always love him. I, on the other hand, do not feel I have anything left in me to demonstrate any sort of "love" for this person I am married to. Sorry I'm so negative, but it's the truth.