My son is attending college. We live in Indiana. I receive a scholarship benefit through my employment for him. We share the cost between the 3 of us.

Does anyone know if X is entitled to my scholarship benefit? He's wanting to take my son's personal scholarships plus my benefit and pool them together, then split the cost 3 ways. This to me does not seem fair.

I'd check with a Lawyer, or the Benefits program that offers the Scholarship. But No, it doesn't sound like he would be entitled to any of it as it isn't FOR HIM.

Thank you ThornedRose. I will have to do some more digging regarding the child support/college support issues for Indiana.

I say split the total cost 3 ways.

Son's scholarships go toward his 1/3 portion and any extra split between you and X.

Your benefit goes toward your 1/3 portion and any extra first applied to Son's portion. Now if son had to do something to get your benefit, I would lean toward splitting between you and son.

fbwidow,
X will not go for that...he thinks he's entitled to our benefits...as our benefits will cover both our 1/3's (mine and son's) plus an extra $300 or so would be applied to the balance. X would then be responsible for rest...which seems reasonable to me...but Indiana Law may be different.


I contacted a lawyer today and have an appointment scheduled for Thursday. I just want to be re-assured one way or the other...I have another son who will be contemplating college and just wanted to know and prepare.

If anyone else has any imput/experiece with this, I would appreciate it! Thanks!

No input, I can just see the fights in 10 years when DD hits that age.
At least you are splitting. Our wording regarding college education "based on each parent's ability at the time".
Extremely vague, so you may be luckier than most.
Sounds like better wording for the future would be Gross college costs vs. net college costs (net of all scholarships).
Did you even discuss who is responsible for loans? Many coworkers are forced to take college loans in addition to what their kids take.
Please post what you learn from the attorney.

newly,
I could not find anything in my Divorce Decree regarding schooling...but then again, I had received so much paperwork, I may have to dig a little deeper.

Because of where I work, my son receives $2000/year in scholarship money - which will go up to $3000/yr next year. He in turn has $1300 of his own. The last 2 years have averaged only $6000/year for schooling. All I am after is these 2 scholarships going towards his share (SON'S) and the rest applied to my balance (from my scholarship benefit)- which looks like it would cover both. X would still have to come up with approximately $1700 out of pocket.

Again, I don't know what the laws are for the state of Indiana and just want to verify that X is not entitled to my portion...

I will post what I find out from the lawyer.

If it's YOUR benefit from work, then that would be YOUR share for your son, he could also apply for other scholarships to help defray other costs.

Maybe his dad would be willing to help him look for other scholarship opportunities to help cover HIS SHARE??

ThornedRose,
His dad is a Union member and I have encouraged him to look into the scholarships that they offer...but he has not done so. I feel that I should not be "punished" because he can't come up with "free money" on his end. My son and I both have our "shares" covered - based on my benefit from work and his own outside scholarship.

It'll be interesting what the lawyer has to say.

Usually neither parent is required to contribute anything once the child is 18 or out of HS (which ever is later) unless added to D settlement. You always run the risk of X not paying anything if you push too hard for "fair". I would try to compromise and just not tell X about any scholarships in the future.

Diamond, given the amounts you are talking, is it even worth hiring a lawyer at $X/hour? (See I take the possible benefit and divide it by the time a lawyer would need to work on it - say 4 hours at $200/hour or $800 cost for what? To get him to pay $1,700? So you gain $900 and have lots of aggravation.)


If your son is going to a state school, count your blessings that it is affordable. I grew up in that area with affordable universities. Where I live now, $25,000 is the minimum per year - yes, with state schools. Typical, $30,000-40,000. It really is all relative.

Count your blessings that your child can get a great education for a great price. Try to get X to pay, but if you can't, remember that anything you pay is an investment in your child's future. (And at that rate, a really great investment given the probable return).

newly,
I guess I just feel like he's still contining to take advantage of me...I walked away with absoulutely nothing from the divorce (married 20 years) - which is greatly my fault. I just wanted out too bad to fight him. I received my personal belongings - and still don't have all of them.
I had to buy all my furniture, furnishings, etc. I left all his investments, 401k, pension, etc. alone.
He even received half of my inheritence I was given. That was the real kicker.

But, maybe you are right. It may not be worth paying a lawyer for...but again, I have another son who will be starting college (maybe) this coming year. I may end up keeping the consultation appointment just to see what he says.

I've decided to go ahead with a consultation appointment...figure the cost of $25.00 will put my mind at ease regardless of the outcome. I have too decided that I will not fight him if this is not a black/white answer. I will continue to divide the cost 3 ways...

newly,
I am so glad I went. I am to apply my scholarship benefit to my son's portion and the rest will be applied to mine...Which will leave my son and I with a zero balance. He told me to tell X that. If X then has a problem with it, we will take it to court. If the scholarship had been awarded from any other source (not my employment) then the benefit would have been divided between us.

That doesn't mean he'll agree, but knowing you have a legal basis and have consulted with an attorney will hopefully work with him.
Yeah!
I'm sure you are so proud of your son. Everyone needs college to survive these days. Remember the great education that your son is getting for that price.

I'm almost certain that he will not agree...unless he was just testing me. If younger son goes to school, I'm looking at 6 more years...It just feels good to be able to have that benefit and come out financially better off than X - as mean as that may sound - but I've worked hard and feel I deserve it!

I have to hire the attorney regardless as I have CS issues that need resolved - which I will combine all the issues and get it all over in one shot.

In my county, you can work out CS issues yourself by filing a motion. All the forms are available on the internet, ready for you to type in.

If the scholarship benefit is part of your benefit/compensation package, then it should be yours. You can always argue that you stayed in this job just to get this benefit.

Good Luck with this. I'm filing a counter motion because my X wants me to drive the kids to school for him (and I can't with my job). I'm no longer his chauffeur.

The only reason that CS is an issue is because no money has ever been exchanged between us. My 2 sons were living with X at the time of our divorce. He was granted as custodial parent...

My younger son decided he wanted to live with me and I bought a house in summer 2004...I honestly did not think he would continue to live with me as I had moved to city living and he was used to the country life - pool, 4 wheelers, etc.

Lawyer stressed that it was extremely important to get the CS issue in check. We will determine the portion that I owe and the portion X now owes so that X cannot come back on me...

Older son will be turning 21 this July - so that is when he suggested that we take care of everything.

X is not happy with the scholarship benefit issue...it is very frustrating on my part as I have not received all of my personal belongings and 1/2 of the family pictures...If I had complete closer, I'm not so sure I would've pressed this issue - but I'm tired of being taken advantage of (going on 3 years).

Now X is getting remarried in June...what's to become of my things I have not yet received? Who knows.

If you've been gone 2 years it's likely your "things" have already been thrown out the door.

I look around at all the junk around my house and after Katrina think "is this really important?". Whatever you've lost, think of what you've gained: Yourself and independence.