Excellent, TM. Great news.

Well, good news and bad news. I love my job, it's great and I work with some very nice people. That's the good news, bad news is when I got up and checked the bank acct this morning wh had charged the last 3 wks of his hotel room to our joint acct making me $800 overdrawn. All my stuff I've paid is bouncing around like a rubber ball. He says that the hotel did it and was supposed to charge his card, does he actually think I am that stupid?

He won't stay anywhere long enough to be served. Just when I think I'm gonna be ok, he goes and does something to knock me right back down. How much longer is this going to go on? I know God says that he won't put anymore on us than we can handle, Well God I'm there!!!

Any suggestions?

He's getting vicious. I would think your attorney should be able to find a way to get him served. Personally, I'd have him served at work.

He's not working right now. He's in between jobs.

What reason does he have to get vicious? I didn't do this he did. He knew what the consequences was going to be when he cheated. I don't understand why is it that when one cheats it's always the innocent party that ends up paying? This is hurting our boys as much if not worse than me. What's the justice in that?

I really wish he'd fall off the face of the earth!!!

You're suggesting there is something logical in a wayward spouse's actions. Quit looking for logic. It isn't there. The same thing applies to justice. It's always the innocent parties who are hurt by adultery but the adulterers cannot see it. The cruelty in their actions does not touch the cheater because their partner in adultery is the only other person in the universe who is actually "real." Everyone else is just there as a backdrop to their fantasy. Wayward spouses of both sexes will give up their children without a second thought in order to stay in their Fantasyland. It's incredibly sad. They eventually realize what they've done, but it comes too late.

Your husband is perhaps a trifle more vicious than others I've heard of out here. I don't know why that would be. Are you at all concerned he might be physically dangerous to you or your children?

TM, normally anger isn't a recommended thing in this but I think a little is good for you right now. Don't let it get the best of you, but I think it's healthy to not like the alien your WH has become. Stay strong, lady.

Has your attorney been able to locate him?

I just found out today that he is staying at his brothers house for sure.

I don't think he would physically hurt me or the boys, he never has, but then again he's never done any of the things that he's doing.

The 7yr old tried several times to call him today and even left a message (wh had told him he could call anytime) and he still hasn't called him back. When I confronted him last night about telling the boys he would call them back and not doing it he said he didn't have a signal on his phone. I told him that's a cop out because the new phone you're caring around has perfect signal there. He used the excuse that he don't want me getting the number to the new phone. Helloooo, that's what *67 is for. I told him to get over hisself, I don't want the number or him.

My attorney has been tied up in court all week but I've been keeping her parralegal up to date on everything. Hopefully something will break tomorrow. I can only pray and trust God. He's gotten me this far.

Threadjack here. LH - can I borrow part of your above post? You really hit the nail on the head.

Believer, sure, go ahead.

*****

TM, he's the alien, remember? Maybe no one has mentioned this rule to you yet. It goes simply, if an alien's mouth is moving, the alien is lying. In this state, their own children mean very little to aliens. Promises are tools they use to get a reaction. They will use their kids as pawns without it bothering their conscience in the least.

Make sure your children know what is happening, okay? If they have to wonder about it, they may begin to blame themselves for the separation between you and your husband. They’ll start acting out and will try to get attention to gloss over the hurt.

I’m glad you found him. Maybe the attorney can get him served tomorrow.

edited after taking the time to read the thread (rolls eyes at myself)...my previous post no longer seems valid.

Lem

Just thought I'd give you an update. I've attended 3 divorce care classes now and it seems to be helping. It amazes me how much I have in common with other people who have been through the same thing. I'm going to keep attending and see where it takes me.
As for wh, he's still in CA with the ow. He told the little one the other night that it would probably be about 6 months before he came back this way, I really don't look for it to happen then. When he first talked to the boys after he got out there, he told them he'd be back in a couple of weeks...now it's months. He's now trying to convince the little one that we're not getting a divorce because of "HIS GIRLFRIEND", but because we don't get along anymore....hmmmmm, wonder why we don't get along anymore!!!!
I'm doing better now than I have been, things seems to be getting easier, I have my days, but I guess that's to be expected after spending 17 yrs with the same person.
I'm still loving my job and it's going great. Please keep me and my boys in your prayers and God Bless!

Bless you and your children and God Bless