Well, I haven't posted in a while, but my profile is pretty up to date. My husband and I have been in different countries for 10 months (except for 18 days in May 99). <P>Since I've been away I found out he had and affair and OW is pregnant. When together for the 18 days, we filed for divorce. I left again and he decided that he wanted to be with me. I decided to stay. We have been having an email/telephone relatioship, but we will be back together in a totally different, very beautiful place in Dec 99. <P>We have a chance to have a new start and I'm so excited. While home for the 18 days, I collected some of my old bills and stuff and brought them back with me. Last night I realized I had one of his cell phone bills from Mar 99 (affair was for 2 wks in Jan). <P>He was still in contact with her. I can't remember if I assumed he wasn't or he told me he wasn't, but it still hurt the same. Every time I try to talk to him about something (very calmly), he gets mad. <P>We were just on the phone laughing together and it was so great. I really want to move on, but he has never allowed me to ask anything about it so I really can't move on. I don't want to know alot. <P>Do you think he will tell me some of the things I need to know after we are together for a while if I just don't push too hard? I'm afraid that him not talking about it means he's still in contact with her. She moved away, but he could be in contact by phone. It would be so much easier to move on and relax a little if I could be positive he was not in contact. I guess there aren't any real positives in this situation. Just hope.

Lynn<BR>If you read my profile you will see that I am the QUEEN of phone bills.<BR>I always found in my case that it was best to get it out in the open. I lovebusted a bit but I couldn't keep it from H that I knew. To me that was a secret too. It festers inside of you.<BR>Your case is different because he isn't there. I would still suggest that you talk to him about what you know. When you feel it's appropriate. This will only hurt you if you keep it to yourelf. Your imagination might do funny things with it. Give him the chance to be honest. It might be bothering him too but he might not know how to approach you with it. <BR>Can you think of a vey calm way to bring it up? secrets are no good. Even little ones.

Lynn, It will be difficult, but try to focus on him. If it had not been her, it would have been some other OM. He's the one that broke the vow.