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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1 |
Hi, I'm new to this site and I really need some advice from those who have been there. It has been 21/2 years since I found out my husband and the mother of my sons best friend were talking on the phone. I know there was zero physical contact between them. I knew there was something going on at the time because of the way they acted when we were all together (flirting, touching, standing close etc.) I found her work number in his cell phone under a mans name. I was so totally lied to by both of them for about 2 months before my husband told me. He has always claimed that they were just really good friends and that he didn't see at the time how his behavior was hurting me. I also found about 6 months ago an ad posted on a swinging website that my husband was looking for discreet sex with another married woman. The ad was posted in Aug of 2003, during all of this stuff going on with the friend. Now I know I was not a great wife. I hated sex and I belittled my husband alot. I wouldn't let him discipline our kids, nothing. So I understand that I had it coimg, so to speak. Now I have been trying to be a good wife and my husband has bent over backwards to show me how sorry he is and how much he has learned and how much he loves me. THE PROBLEM- I do not trust him at all. I get suspicious over everything and it is tearing us apart. He has not done anything to make me think something is happening now, I just think he is up to something all of the time!! How do I stop this obsessive worry that the next bomb is coming anytime?? I know I am driving him away. Help!! -Jaci
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 270
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 270 |
jacidic-
I don't trust my FWW either. I just went through her stuff a couple of hours ago, and it has been a year. I don't think I'll ever completely trust her.
It has only been a year for me, but I think I feel a little better than you. You just have to hold it together. Maybe some counseling would help, just for you? Concentrate on making the time you're not paranoid the best it can be.
Oh, by the way, the two most important things to stroke on a man are his ego and his, ahem.., you know... so concentrate on those two things and you'll be amazed at the results.
As I tell my wife- "See how easy it is to make me happy?"
BS (me) 36
FWW 32
DD 5
DS 2
D-Day & Exposure 4/3/05
D-day #2 Early June '05
In Recovery
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