OK if anyone knows my story.. WW has had NC for less than a week.. She is angry and ugly to me and currently not talking to me..

So, mothers day is Sunday, we have a 4MO and 3.5YO.. She does not want anything from me but I have to make it special for our kids.. She is still in "THE FOG" and I am the problem and I am trying to control her...
I made a SPA APPT for her for Sunday, it was 2.5 hours and would of been nice, but she made me cancel it... Because I made it, I was trying to control her and control her day....
So, What should I get her??? I was thinking of taking the 3.5YO to the mall and have her pick out something small and then just send flowers and card... But, should I try harder and get something else, or what...

I know she wants a mothers ring, but you can get them with DAD's stone on it or without.. so if I get her one with mine on it, and she gives up in a week, I wasted it.. If I get one without DAD's stone on it, then that might give the wrong ideas to her... Also, I can not have the ring by Sunday anyways...

Well, I am sure I will get lots of great suggestions.. THanks in advance.

You know, since she is in such a detached emotional state, I would give her something that is not so grand that it requires a huge debt of gratitude on her part. She will resent that right now. She is in withdrawal and does not want to be OBLIGED to you right now.

Why not give her something very simple, like a nice, pretty bouquet of flowers and a card? Nothing too sentimental or mushy, though. Help the 3 yr old pick out a little gift and a card, too.

duglas,

Wow....well, I'd help your child give her something sweet....but I don't think you should give her anything except a some patience with her withdrawal....that's MORE than plenty.

Since she does not want anything from you, do not give her anything! She is not your mother anyway! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> If you feel compelled to do something, buy her a card thanking her for being the mother of your children.

Make a gift that is clearly from the children....a fun one is a cement stepping stone for the garden...you can get a kit at craft stores like Michael's. It comes with the cement mix, mold and decorative elements like mosiac tiles. Your 3yo could do a good job with this, and you could put the baby's handprint in it.

Keep it about the children celebrating their mom.

Sorry you are having a hard time.

Skip the mother ring for now, imo.

Blessings,
Glad

A nice photo of the kids in a nice frame. Keep yourself out of the photo, though. It's about her parenting, not her transgressions as a wife.

duglas,
I'm pretty new here, but I am a mom, and I can tell you that mother's day is for the children to recognize the mom, first and foremost. It would be nice for you to help your eldest child make a card for her, or some other small, sincere, gesture. Be crafty. Just giving her the day off, to sulk around, or whatever, is a HUGE thing. We moms don't get much down time! It's always and added bonus when the husband kicks in something to show how much he cares. If you want to get her something, try to think about things that she has enjoyed in the past; maybe a certain food, a tasty beverage, movie. Get it for her, make it for her, and let her do it alone. She will be grateful, but won't feel obligated or overwhelmed. It's her day, let her have it to herself, if she so chooses. I wish you luck.

The Michael's idea is a great one... Something she will remember but completely from the kids.. We can even put the 4MO's hand prints in it... I called them and they have a few different ones in stock, I am going there today to see what they have..!!!!

I will order a small bunch of flowers to be delivered too, that is something I always do so I think I should keep it going..

did you ever tell the pastor at the church duglas?

You know the saying...

If the foundation is crap, everything else is crap and the church will fall...

Church is going under, it is at 1/2 the people from 6 months ago, Me and WW already stopped going there..

So, no I did not tell the Pastor what happened, the OM is looking for another job and is getting out of the ministry..
Which I think is a good idea...
My wife and the OM's wife are still good friends and me telling the church will hurt there entire family and piss my wife off even more.. Maybe when the fog is over and I am in recovery instead of living H3LL!!.....
But everyone else knows, my family, her mother, most friends..

That relationship between your W and the OMW sounds like trouble brewing.... IMVHO. You sure it's not a backhanded way for W to stay in contact with OM?