My WW called today to ask my opinion about an "opportunity" for her to transfer to another school. She said that she doesn't like change and is scared to change. I asked her is she wasn't more afraid of what would happen if she didn't transfer.

She said that shouldn't be a condition of us staying together. That I should trust her enough to know that she would never do what she did to me ever again. That we don't have marriage if where she works is more important than our relationship. I replied that she knew it wasn't about where she worked and that I was uncomfortable with her work environment.

She got upset and said she called for my opinion and that she was hoping that I could help her make a decision. So I said, ok, let's forget our situation and look at the pro's and con's. I told her what I thought I would do and she agreed that is what she would most likely do.

We'll see. LOL

Oh yea, my question is: How do you respond when your WW says that you should trust them enough to work with the OM, because they would never cheat on you again or do what they did again?

You reply that you would be fool to trust an untrustworthy person. That should tell you that you cannot trust her to respect your feelings or respect you as a man that she would continue to be so thoughtless that she would work with her affair partner.

Trust is not an ENTITLEMENT, GT. It has to be earned, and she has never earned it.


Truer words were never spoken. She has made it very clear that her job is more important than her marriage; more important than your feelings.

Bull pucky! That's what you say! I'm serious. WS are tricky lil suckers. You tell her, "Not only no, but kiss my big toe!" She's seeing if you'll enable her A. Enable her contact. You tell her if her marriage her more important than her job, then she'll get a job where she's not working with OM.

On that note, also remember, a career is supposed to serve a marriage, a marriage doesn't serve a career.

Back to your question, though. She's not in a position to tell you what should or should not be a condition of you staying married to her. You're calling the shots for you, big boy. Put it on her for a minute.

"Honey, I boinked my co-worker for a while, but now I've stopped. You don't have a problem with me working with her, right? I swear I won't look at her butt or her boobs and I swear I won't remember what it was like in the sack with her. You trust me to do that, right?"

Best wishes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And forget about the marriage is what you both did! GT, do you not find it telling that your MARRIAGE is left out of any and all decision making? It is so low on both your priority lists, that it is no wonder it is dead. DEAD.

GTO - if you haven't already, please see 2Long's post titled "Got a chilling email from my WW." It's near the top today.
Mulan

Trust is earn, not given. What have you done to earn my trust ?.

-rh-

Grove, why is NC not a boundry?

How would I respond??

Not a word...only with the sound of laughter....

to retain my sanity...I would have to laugh..

oh yeah...Mel has a point too.....

How has she earned your trust????