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change the subject
tell a half truth
busy yourself with projects so you don't have to make eye contact
seek out consolation that "everyone tells lies"
keep your mouth shut & claim a toothache
say to your worried spouse, when you start to look worn & frazzled from the pain of deception "I must be getting a virus"
ignore your conscience
become dark and depressed and go to the medical center sixteen times asking for cancer testing because you are certain there is something going on because you just feel awful, have no appetite and have zero energy
tell yourself it's OK to leave off details
looks for flaws in your spouse that justify deception
start picking on your spouse so they get confused and sad as well
imagine yourself to be a martyr or a victim
cherry-pick your values and toss out any that prohibit secrecy/lying to your spouse
tell yourself "It really was not so bad, so I best keep it to myself"
tell yourself that you prefer living in a shadow and watching your backside
dig a hole so deep that you cannot see the light if you wanted to
tell yourself that your secrecy is actually for his/her own good
tell yourself "Spouse can't handle the truth"
gather votes of support that secrecy is actually a method of protection
imagine what will happen if you become truthful and panic
shoot Jimminy Cricket when he chirps
.... and the biggest way to keep secrets from your spouse
... [color:"red"]LIE TO YOURSELF [/color] Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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[b]
shoot Jimminy Cricket when he chirps ROTFLOL!! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.
BW 32
FWH 32
3 DC 5, 4, and 2
M 1996
PA 3/15 and 3/21/06
D-day 3/31/06
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shoot Jimminy Cricket when he chirps Pep, you have a way with words that I usually love...and I love this one!!! God bless.
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infidelity quickly confessed and addressed
does not cause nearly as much damage to the marriage as the lies told during the cover-up
Pep
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Remember Clinton's successful slogan "It's the ECONOMY stupid" well in "the affair world" >ahem< IT'S THE LIES STUPID... yes ... I AM yelling at YOU! Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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infidelity quickly confessed and addressed
does not cause nearly as much damage to the marriage as the lies told during the cover-up
Pep Amen to that! Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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[color:"blue"] IT'S THE LIES GIRLFRIEND [/color]
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[color:"green"]LIES MURDER MARRIAGE INTIMACY [/color]
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[color:"purple"] LIES SHRINK WRAP YOUR INTEGRITY [/color]
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[b]
shoot Jimminy Cricket when he chirps ROTFLOL!! Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. Me thinks Pep lives too close to a disney place. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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[color:"orange"]LIES BREAK HEARTS [/color]
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[color:"red"] I LOVE DISNEYLAND BUT I HATE LIES [/color]
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[color:"red"] I LOVE DISNEYLAND BUT I HATE LIES [/color] Then shoot Cruela DeVil!
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I vote for Pinochio! He was the professional liar! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Lies use up valuable closet space...
and cause yucky stuff to grow under the carpet.
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[color:"purple"]lies lies damn lies kill your spouse sooner than" the affair world" [/color]
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[color:"green"] lies make your reflection in the mirror oh-so ugly [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
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[color:"green"] lies make your reflection in the mirror oh-so ugly [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Lies stink.....leis smell purty.... (except the ones that get stuck in the mail). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> L.
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Lies twist your mind and your reality, people often start believing their own lies.
Thanks Pep, I vote this one of your Must-Read posts, like the 'carrot & the stick', and 'buyers, renters & freeloaders'.
Thanks for the genuine Marriage Building.
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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Ok you forgot the best way but do not pass it on to any FWS.
1. Walk up to a wall or any other hard object.
2. Bang your head on the wall or hard object until physical truama is evident.
3. Lay down on the ground as though you are knocked out.
4. When your BS comes to your aid ask them "who are you and where am I".
5. Go to the hospital and convince the Nuerologist(sp) that you have amnesia.
6. Pretend your amenesia is for a block of time longer then your A that includes your A. For example if you were in the A for 3 months have your amnesia block out an eight month time frame that includes that 3 months.
7. Have nuerologist explain to your BS that this will probably last forever and that something very truamatic must have happened during the time they are blocking out and it is best not to talk about it.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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