I just caught ws last tuesday. Here is an update day by day.

Sunday ~leaves house to go to hotel and think. We are seperated.

Tuesday~walked into hotel room with ws and other woman.

Wed~email saying hasn't loved me for 3 years and isn't attracted to me.

Thurs.~ Calls and is pretty sweet. Wants to come over to see daughter and when comes is very honost and open. Says he will come back to the house and think over the weekend while I am at my moms.

Friday~I leave for my moms. Neighbors tell me he is not at the house and didn't stay there.

Saturday~Nothing

Sunday~Back at house. Got there late Saturday night. Calls me and asks about a message from an attourney. I am coming home so he goes back to the hotel.

Monday~I call him that night and he says he will be over Tuesday to talk and make me dinner.

Tuesday~Comes home. Confesses a little more. The other woman ended it completely and he is devastated. Yet still loves me and was scared he was going to loose me. He moves back home but in our guest room.

Wed. Stays home from work but has a conversation with other woman. After conversation comes home and is totally sweet. It is over with her for good. He is going in Thurs to quit his job. We go to counceling and it goes well.

THurs. goes into work really early to quit. She is there. Comes home in the worst mood ever and so sad about his loss. I hear all about his love for her blah blah blah. He has feelings for her he never had for me. VERY hard day!!

Friday~ He finds out everyone at work knows about the affair. He calls her. She says they are treating it like a sexual harrassment case to cover their butts. (He was her boss).

Now he is ready to really try but wants to go to our home state and visit some mutual friends for a week without me. THis is fine with me. I think it will be a good idea. The only thing I have going for me is that we are putting our house up for sale Monday and moving back to our home state. So we are moving to an entirely different state. I told him if he contacts her one more time and I know about it, he is leaving. He agrees. This all just seems so fast!! I did plan A from day 1. Never needed plan b.. Threatened it, but never needed it. Should I expect a slip up?? This just seems too good to be true. we are still in seperate beds and once in a while he will say he hopes he can have a future with me but isn't sure. DAGGER TO THE HEART!!

I think it is a terrible idea for you to be apart right now. He needs YOU as a support to keep him AWAY from the OW now. If he is away, he will be free to pursue her. He will not withdraw and your marriage will not recover until contact is ended.

Instead, I would explain to him that you know he is going through withdrawal, taht you love him, and will be there to help him. Let him know that what he will be just fine once he withdraws but that won't happen without completely ending contact.

Ask him to send her a no contact letter and to open up his life to you. He needs to give you passwords, and access to his cell phone bill and computer.

so please read this article on withdrawal, but most of all, work on helping him through this and work on getting him to commit absolutely to NO CONTACT.

withdrawal guide by Suzet: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2686313

How to Survive Infidelity: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html

Sample no contact letter - should be written together and mailed by you:

Dr. Harley?s (From SAA)

(OP), I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk with you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that (BS) did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay (BS) for the pain I have caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she?s been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely,
(WS)

p.s. whatever you do, DON'T LOVEBUST him. Don't be a door mat, but don't engage in any angry outbursts or disrespectful judgments. He will use that as an invitation to contact the OW.

Hi, wounded64. Welcome to MB.

***Now he is ready to really try but wants to go to our home state and visit some mutual friends for a week without me. THis is fine with me. I think it will be a good idea.***

Nope. Very, very bad idea. This sounds to me like WH and OW are going to take a week-long goodbye trip together. I'd bet your house on it. SAY NO!

***The only thing I have going for me is that we are putting our house up for sale Monday and moving back to our home state. So we are moving to an entirely different state.***

Excellent - as long as the OW is not in the same state.

***I told him if he contacts her one more time and I know about it, he is leaving. He agrees.***

I totally sympathize, but do not make ultimatums that you are not prepared to enforce.

Like Melody said: Has he written a No Contact letter yet?
Mulan