Do the lawyers need a copy of a plan B letter?

Could it be used in court to show an unwillingness of the BS to cooperate or coparent amicably?

If I am not messing with the schedule, not interferring with WH's access to the kids and have a mediator - is there anything negative they can say about plan B?

IMHO, folks outside of the MB community can easily, and frequently do, ridicule Plan B - for the reasons you suggest. The uninformed view will be that the BS is stifling communication - the very thing that leads to much marital strife.

But I also believe that this isn't reason enough not to implement Plan B anyway. Providing YOUR attorney with a copy of the Plan B letter - along with a thorough explanation of what it is - makes a lot of sense. This assumes that the letter clearly describes the BS's desires for marital reconciliation, etc.

A WS's attorney may try to use it as an example of uncooperativeness on the part of the BS. This ought to be easily rebuted by your attorney - with the added benefit that the existance of an adulterous affair gets entered into the record. Not such a bad thing. Perhaps a real attorney on the forum can speak more confidently about this.

JMHO

WAT

Thanks WAT,

The affair is already on the books, I named OW in the divorce petition.

I think my point is that WH has basically said "You communicate on my terms or not at all", so now I am choosing the latter.

I could show an unwillingness on his part to communicate with me, he actually planB'd me for 6 weeks at the first of the year. And all systems ran smooth regarding the kids during that time.

Frankly, I am embarrassed to send my lawyers a copy and an explanation. They think I am completely nuts for not being ecstatic about the divorce. WH has made a pretty negative impression on my attorneys.

That could be a big problem, I am actually embarrassed to still be hoping for recovery with him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

LOL, my atty knows about WH's affair and said "be glad you're getting rid of him while you're still young." I sniffled and said something to the effect of "but I still love him."

Then the attorney -- who is a gruff 66-year old who has been practicing divorce law for 40 years and has seen everything twice -- gave a huge snort. He doesn't have much respect for men who cheat and leave three little girls under the age of 5. I am beginning to be embarrassed that I was hoping for recovery at one point too.

Moral of these stories - don't accept marriage counseling from attorneys nor legal counsel from marriage counselors.

Pretty simple, huh?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
WAT

Here is what I am thinking of doing....

When I write my Plan B letter, I am going to attach a letter on it from my lawyer that out lines his intentions to protect my assets and family from the impact of the affair and actions of WS.

I think you can use your lawyer to help deliver the punch of the plan B letter but he probably doesn't have much use of it in what he is going to do for you.

I like your plan VR, I like the letter to OM also.

In my case, we are both lawyered up, I filed, he countered (because he knew I wanted to drop my petition). I need to just email to my attorney and make sure that it won't make me look like I am interferring with his rights to the children.

I emailed the plan B letter to my attorney for her review before I give it to WH. I am sure they will all have a chuckle at me stopping all communication, which seems to translate into "Ok, I'll stop harassing you now".