But what is plan B?

After you do a good Plan A, you go to Plan B. First you write a Plan B letter, telling your husband that you love him and thought you would always stay married. You let him know that you are sorry for your contribution to the state of the marriage.

Then you tell him that staying in contact with him while he is not being faithful is too painful, and to protect your love for him, you no longer will have contact with him.

Plan B is to protect you, and let him see what life would be WITHOUT you.

Thank you so much for all your info. I will stay in Plan A as long as I can. Believer thanks for all your input. Just some days it is so hard to keep in plan A mode. Especially knowing he is talking to local people and trying to meet them.

What did you do...did you "accidentally" run into them as believer suggested?

LA

How is your support group? You should have someone that you can talk to and that knows all the details... if he is going out then need to get intel on him and the OW's. It is part of your exposure when you do it.

If you have a friend that can do it - have them take a camera phone or something and also have them write down what happens. WS and OW do this or that and then put that in your journal of events.

Remember he is an alien and not your husband, you are working on plan A to resurrect your husband. Your doing this by dropping the LB's and judgements. You also have to release him, release the fact you don't control him or his decision. He is doing this on his own free will and you can't do anything about it.

I have found if you truely apply a good Plan A - it really makes it hard on the WS, but it takes time and you wont know until its done that you had any effect.

Well, I don't think he met her Friday. Because she had her kids. He spent today and yesterday with me and my kids. He spent from about 12:30 yesterday till about 8:45pm last night with me and the kids and then today we went to the movies. So I am not sure how I should feel about that. It was a nice time. I dont have a support group. I just see a counselor. We still sleep together is that a good thing or bad thing? Not sure what to think about these last few days. Any suggestions.

I need some advice and I need it now. I just found out that he is going to GA in two weeks. I thought he was going on a Canoe trip with a buddy but he is not. He is going to GA. What do I do? Do I confront him or what? I dont want him to go. What am I going to do? I need some advice I am desarate.

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He uses the same computer as I do. So I would have to have some one else do that. Do I give up on plan A and confront him or what? I dont know what to do. I am totally lost. We had such a good weekend and now I find this out. I am so devasted.

You can stay in Plan A and also confront him, letting him know that it hurts you that he is going to Georgia to see an other woman.

I would also secure financial support through an attorney.

So believer do you think I should file for divorce, just so I can cover myself financially. Thank you for telling me that I can still be in Plan A and still confront him. He has been paying all the bills but I am afraid that he will quit paying them if he is confronted. I just dont know what to do.

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I think sometimes the best thing to do is...let him go... and if he decides to come back..then I will decide at that time if I want him back. I am angry because he is taking this trip on my daughters bday and doesnt care about it. If he doesnt come back then that is his lose not mine. Cause I have my kids. I am at my last draw with him. I am hurting so much inside and I cant talk to anyone. I just want it to be over whether it is divorcing him or not. I am weak and can't tell him no. He makes it very clear he is the boss and he makes the rules. That is what he tells me.

Does your state have separation? I would consult an attorney, and get financially protected. These WS's have a bad habit of getting so involved in their fantasy, that they don't take care of their children or bills. We see it all of the time here.

I am totally confused. So many people say I need to confront him before he leaves for his trip. And I should have my brother and brother in law here when I confront him. I am not ready to give up on my marriage. He told me today that he will come back July 4th. My family thinks he wont come home when he takes the trip. I believe he is going to GA to see the OW. I am at a loss. I have less than two hundred dollars and I think I should wait till I get more money from him. Actually I dont know what to do. Everybody gives there advice...but its not that easy to just let him go and walk a way. Every one tells me he is making it clear he doesnt want to work it out and I am just allowing him to string me along for the road. I love him and want him to come home..But I don't know if he will. I don't know what the truth is. What if he doesn't come home and he is trasfering up there. I have no clue. I am totally screwed. But what if he comes home and I confronted him when I shouldn't have. ANybody have any advice?

Don't listen to your family. Your husband is behaving like the typical wayward spouse, chasing his fantasy. The chances of him coming back to you are excellent. Stay in Plan A. Protect your finances. Can you see an attorney?

If your husband leaves and doesn't send money, then sign up for welfare.

My family is make it hard..They think I should give up and file for divorce. I am struggling a lot. I am ready to give up on all of it. I feel like, I am not worth nothing. I feel hopeless.

Maria - Your family is making it hard because they don't understand. No one that has not been through this can understand.

Don't let your husband's bad behavior make you feel hopeless or like you are worth nothing. He is the one that is making a HUGE mistake.

But how can I stay in Plan A, when I know he is not being faithful to me. That is very hard for me to deal with. I just want to confront him and be done with it. But I also need money from him too. He makes a lot more money than I do. I think I need to use him for a while and get some money saved up then drop the big suprise. The Divorce papers.

Maria - Do you want to save your marriage, or get divorced?

It is extremely difficult to stay in Plan A when they are still not being faithful.

You need to take some steps to protect yourself financially, because when they are in an affair/fantasy, they tend to forget about paying child support or taking care of their family.