My other has had suspicious activity toward a potential affair - I am in the process of proving it to be or not to be.

I hate not being able to trust him.
I hate lying to him to cover my own tracks.
I hate thinking that because he hasn't called me for 6 hours he might be with her.
I hate thinking that he is "supposed" to be out of town but is he.
I hate not being my complete self - having to mask my feelings.
I hate not knowing.
I hate that I want it all right now, today, in this moment - and that what it takes is time to reveal evidence or build trust.
I hate that I am living with a person with a double life.
I hate deciding whether or not to put the GPS on his truck while risking getting caught doing it.

We will have a great day together - and that helps my love bank. Then something weird happens - I checked his messages on his cell phone - there was hold music on a message. I think he was on hold, took a call on call waiting and the hold call called him back and left a message. The hold message played music then says "Do you know we do family planning? You can get birth control solutions through us as well as the morning after pill. Just call XXXXXXXXX and if its after hours call this number XXXXXXX. Please continue to hold and we can answer any questions". I can't remember things verbatum but that is a pretty good translation. What in the ****** kind of place do you call that has that on their message? Medical office or DSHS wouldn't you guess?
I hate wondering if he is being nice to me because he "didn't get caught and will now break it off".
I hate the mental time this takes from me.
I hate that it robs my kids of their mother.
I hate it all. Today I am half empty. Thanks for letting me dump!

Amen! I hear ya and feel the same way, but my WH is living in his own apt. I think with OW, so for me I wonder and obsess CONSTANTLY. My prayers to you!

Do a google search for the number, just type in the number, XXX-XXX-XXXX, and if it's listed it'll come up, should that's how I got H's OW's name, and address! And as far as the way yuou feel, I feel the same! It really, really, hurts!

Perhaps you should post that strange message on the "Other Child" forum... sounds like someone might be knocked up or have an STD.

Thanks for the posts. We can all be miserable together! =) I have OW's #'s and address - althought here may be a change in the phone # because I called her up and questioned my Other about it and think they both lied to me - or not - could just as easily be the truth. Either way, they know I'm on their scent and either called it quits, are covering their tracks better - or never did anything.

I agree exactly with knocked up or STD - don't know what other place would have that kind of message. I did post it on the other - so thanks for suggesting that.

Take Care All!