I'll be around for another hour myself if I can help.

H usually gets home at 7 and it's now 10:41 and he's not here. I haven't heard from him. I think he's gone. I feel it in my gut. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Can you leave and go look for him? Do you know where he'd be?

Leslie,

I can tell from your posts it is a real rollercoaster for you. You can stay on for the entire ride. Even if he doesn't come home, it doesn't mean it is the end.

Are you ok?

I did and can't find him. I know he's gone

Are you ok?

Did you call the OW's house?

no I drove over there 3 timds and never saw his car

My gut tells me it's over. He's gone for good.

Don't be so rash. You really don't know that.

Take a deep breath and think of what you need to do for YOU to guarantee this doesn't happen again. Know what I mean?

What boundaries are you gonna put up now?

and you didn;t answer...you ok?

No I'm not freaking okay

Leslie,

I wish I could help you. Stay strong. This is only 1 night. It is a short time in the scope of life.

I hope you are ok.

Where can you call to look for him? Have you tried all friends?

Sorry, I was just worried about you.

((((Leslie))))

If he's not at OW's house then he is at a Hotel someplace. No idea where.

Want to recover - even though it's one night as you say, it's more then that, it's the end of my marriage.

I've driven every place I can think of. Going to go to my work shortly to see if he sent me an email there.

Leslie, even if he is gone- it doesn't mean it is for good.

You are only 2 months into this. Dr Harley says 2 years is the normal time for an affair to last.

I can imagine it seems like an eternity, but it is not.

You need to get a grip. You need to get control of yourself. You are not helping anything by being so up and so down. I haven't posted much to you since the begninning, but your posts are up and down, down and up, etc.

Are you seeing an IC? I think seeing an IC and possibly some ADs would help you tremendously.

I know right now you see your world spiraling and you want it to stop.

I have this same issue- it is the fact that I want to be in control. When I am not, I am so frustrated and my emotions are all over the board.

You can not control your husband. The only thing you can control is yourself and right now, do you see yourself doing that?

I can imagine your fear and anxiety however, you are doing yourself no good by letting it get the best of you.

Go take a bath, relax and go to bed.

Do you have something to help you sleep? take it.

There is not a thing you can do tonight.

I'll pray that you can rest tonight.

Leslie,

I am typing to you tonight because my own Husband may walk out the door at any minute. I am scared to go to bed.

That is why I say it is only one night. It just feels like forever.

Your marriage is not over until a divorce is final.

Call hotels and ask to be connected to his room. It might tell you where he is.

Leslie,

Don't panic, after all the progress you made recently. If it is the worst that you imagine, he is gone, then you will survive, and thrive. I know it is hard, but the rollar-coaster you have been on is wearing you out, this can't be the kind of life you want for yourself?

Stay calm, go home, try to get some sleep. I don't know your work schedule, but you have that and your grandson to consider. You are the strong responsible one, you can handle this. Your WH is disrespecting you, once again. Relax, take a deep breath, and try to center yourself.

We're with you, ((hugs))

Post deleted by Leslie47

Leslie, this is a very SAFE place to vent. i do it all the time. Everyone here wants the best for You. This advice is for YOu because we all KNOW the hurt you are feeling.
Some of us are past that initial rollercoaster part, and others are right there on it with you.

As for wanting him to hurt--trust me, he will. I GUARANTEE it. This "happiness" he has found is short-lived. And living with his actions--as any FWS who posts here--is something they wish they could erase.

You have your diginity. You will be able to recover regardless, with baggage yes--from hurt--but not the heavy baggage of guilt he will have.

We are here for you.

I won't take AD's either, but I will take a hot bubble bath. Can you try that?