Warning!!! Warning!!!! Rant/Pity party to follow.

Just got a call from the second bill collector in two days. This all started when my FWW took the ill fated 6 week vacation that we could not really afford.

In order to pay for the trip she agreed to work for a friend a couple days a week to earn spending money.

Instead she spent almost all of her time with OM.

When she came back from the ill fated vacation she refused to stop spending money probably another couple grand on clothes, hair, nails, etc.

She was not spending disposable income here. We were already behind right after the trip and she knew it.

Now I am sitting here trying to figure out how to get out from under all of this crap and guess what? She is fine letting me do it. I don't want to be resentful or mean to her but it is proving to be difficult. When I told her about the money situation when she came back she kept spending. Now I have done without for all of this time because of her spending.

Now I am shouldering the responsibility to fix it.

Not to mention that we had to switch apartments yesterday because they are renovating. I assumed we were going to switch to the same floor plan. My FWW wanted to switch floor plans to a smaller place that cost more money. I tried to steer us toward the same floor plan. I finally gave in (compomised?) against my better judgement. I had about 20 reasons not to move into a smaller place and 20 reasons to stay with the same floor plan. Her one reason was she wanted to move into the smaller floorplan.

Well guess what we moved yesterday and it is to small. All of my reasons wher valid. She wakes up this morning and says "I wish we would have stayed with the same floorplan". No kidding, really now we are stuck here for a year.

This is the same way she has made decesions for our entire relationship including the A. You could give her a million reasons something is not a good idea but if she wants to do it she does and worries about the consequences later.

Those Consequences always bite me square on my butt. At this point I barely have one left.

Thank god for this board once I get it out I feel better.

YOH-- I'm sorry you are having to deal w/this. In a way I can relate b/c I deal w/most of our finances and things are totally out of hand right now and some of it's directly related to the A and some of it is related to my H's unwillingness to follow thru and take responsibility for things.

$300 vet bill b/c H didn't give dog full course of meds last time we took her in.

$1000 dentist bill (w/$2000 more work to be done) b/c my H won't go to a dentist regularly

$500 lab bill for my STD testing (he still hasn't had his done and probably never will)

$600+ cell phone bill from a former employee b/c my H wouldn't turn off the phone

I could go on, but you get the picture. I am planning on addressing these things in MC b/c it's my H's tendency to stick his head in the sand that led him to the fantasy Cheers life of the bar and into the talons of the OW.

Thanks for letting me rant/vent with you. I feel better too! LOL!

Nice to know I am not alone. Sorry about that.

All of this started with the A though.

We were up to date on all of our bills with a little cusion.

She took the cusion to pay for the airline tickets. Then when I started looking at the bank account the money was just flying out.

When the bills started coming we couldn't pay them. I had to make the choice to pay the critical ones, ie rent, utilities etc. The credit card bills and my student loan were put on hold. Then she got a credit card from the womens clothing store she worked at. Spending a couple hundred a month on that card and paying it off every month so she could buy more.

Thats the only one we could pay. She calls today to tell me another one called and can't understand why I would be so mad.

What makes it worse for me is the guy was such a loser he couldn't pay to take her out so she went dutch most of the time or paid for it herself with my money.

She gets a vacation + a vacation from marriage and I have to deal with the A and the bills.

Oh not to mention the $400 a year gym contract she signed up for when I asked her not to sign a contract. Originally she told me it was for one year. At the end of year one when I told her to cancel she told me it was actually for two years. At the end of year 2 it was actually for three years. Only time she really used it was to get into really good shape for her vacation.

Mean while I lost 50lbs and needed new clothes and guess what, I barely have enough clothes still. I don't get to go golfing because we can't afford it.

The to top it all of next month is the anniversary of her affair and our wedding anniversary which we have not celebrated since the A. Oh and I found out last week she actually slept with him on our anniversary and my sons birthday. Cool more stuff to be pissed about.