I still find my WW beautiful and attractive. However I also find other women attractive and if someone else is meeting my EN for physical attractiveness, does that make it an EA or do they need to meet several ENs?

The reason I ask this is that I have always found women in general to be beautiful. Now that my WW is leaving I've noticed myself being even more attractive to other women. So my question is when does it become a PA if other women are meeting my top EN for physical attractiveness?

Well, it really depends on how far you take it.

If you are married but are constantly ignoring your spouse to look at other people, then this can cause severe damage in the marriage.

An EN is described as something a spouse - any spouse - can provide for you if they are willing. Therefore, "Attractive Spouse" is an EN, while "having sex with ten different men and/or women" is not.

If you found your wife physically attractive enough to marry in the first place and she is willing to keep herself well-groomed and healthy, then she should be able to meet this EN for you.

That doesn't mean that no married person ever finds anyone else physically attractive. It happens all the time. What really matters is what you do about it. If you just sort of politely enjoy the scenery and aren't ignoring or belittling your spouse at the same time, it's probably not going to hurt anything.

Personally, since my WH ignores me to death all the time, my EN for Attractive Spouse is met by Errol Flynn (especially when somebody's dressed him up like a pirate.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Mulan

I agree with Mulan.
Its ok to appreciate someone else physical appearance....no touching! No friendly hug, arm around the shoulder or pat on the fannie! If you start telling your co worker to wear a certain shirt, or stiletto heels or you make inappropriate comments like "You're but looks so good in those pants I'd like to take a bite!" THAT would be BAD!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


PS I changed my screen name.

I am assuming you meant that word to be "attracted" and not attractive.

Hope...Right now you have a WW who has gone out of her way to meet 0% of your EN's while you attempted to meet hers. That one way street is killing your L and your marriage like a cancer. It is killing it slowly..and it is almost dead for you. You have accepted that no matter how sucessful Plan B is you may never have your W back. You're ready....for what? Plan B with all the necessary steps for Plan D.

Like in my case I believe that your W will sooner or later "come around" and it may be too late...I especially feel this will, just as in my case. be when you're finally feeling "happy"...with yourself, enough to let someone in your life....

What you're doing now regarding the EN for attractiveness is not an EA unless you're having an emotional attatchment to this person...an infactuation of such with hopes for more...which I have, on numerous occasions warned you against...because you are married...even with planned separation....you're still a married man...

Everyone here tells us two years...wait two years...I did not...heck...my marriage was dead for 3 years prior to D...and I waited a year before dating someone seriously...and within 4-5 months of that I was reconciling with then XW!! Was 2 year window proper? Many would say yes...I still do not know...

at this time I still warn you to proceed cautiously, even if Plan D went into effect tomorrow...you sir are rightfully an absolute emotional mess...do not, under any circumstances bring someone into your life that you think you care about or you think you may care about...cause it will NEVER work..

There..it's out there my friend, as always I wish you the best..

In your present set of circumstances....you are treading in dangerous waters. While it is nice to admire the scenary......you still live in your own house/home/m and when you start satisfying your need to take it to the next level, your EN becomes an EA turning to a PA and you are already out of control.

For your safety is it even worth the risk at this point?

L.

I am not certain of all your details but I went through a phase where I noticed almost every woman that moved after my Dday. It happened about 3 months after my Dday and lasted for about two months. Since you say your WW is about to leave, just be aware that part of this may be your brain's defense mechanism going into overdrive. I don't understand the psychology of it but you may be hypersensitive now. Just be careful. Get your emotions into a stable place. If you are about to separate, you will likely be an emotional wreck. If you are going to have a wreck, it is better to have it by yourself - then you don't have to pay liability damages.

My girl-watching phase has ended thankfully. I am still with WW but she is still a WW and we are not close to recovery. This is just my personal experience so it may be different in your case.