MY HUSBAND ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT IT WAS ME THAT WAS CAUSING HIM TO NOT BE ABLE TO RETAIN AN ERECTION...SO I HAD A VAGINAL REPAIR WHICH DID NOT FIX THE PROBLEM WE HAVE HAD SUCCESSFUL INTERCOURSE LESS THAN 20 TIMES IN THE PAST 10 YEARS NO FOREPLAY (FOR ME) AND I HAVE BEEN WASHING HIS SOILED T-SHIRTS AND FEELING VERY REJECTED....I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THAT AFTER MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I NEEDED THE SURGERY...IT WAS THE WAY AND "WHAT" HE WAS USING TO MASTURBATE THAT MADE HIM LOSE SENSATION AND NOT BE ABLE TO ENJOY INTERCOURSE...NOW I FEEL ANGRY AND RESENTFUL.HE HAS HAD THIS PROBLEM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP AND I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO SPICE THINGS UP EXCITE HIM AND FIX THIS ED BUT EVERYTHING I HAVE TRIED HE SAID "I JUST DON'T LIKE THAT" MOVIES, LINGERIE,TOYS ETC.. AND THEN AS SOON AS HE WAS ALONE HE WAS USING EVERYTHING WITHOUT ME...ALL THE TIME AND HIDING IT AND LYING ABOUT IT..HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL??HE KEPT TELLING ME HE WAS TRYING TO CHANGE GIVE HIM TIME BE PATIENT AND SO ON AND HERE WE ARE 10 YEARS LATER AND I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE..I AM SO LONELY I JUST SEEM TO EXSIST THESE DAYS FEELING NO DESIRE FOR LIFE.....PLEASE HELP ME FIND A POSSIBLE SOLUTION

Tabitha,

Did you read AskMe's answer to your previous post? Sexual Addiction (SA) is as real as drug addiction. Research and counseling can help you and your marriage.

There is help for the partner of a SA...www.recoverynation.com

Why did you decide to type in caps? Your first post wasn't typed that way.

This isn't all about his addiction...you have your part, your power...you are half the marriage. Consider why you chose to believe it was you causing him...

Al-Anon is a great place to understand yourself.

There is a lot of help at your disposal. You took the first step, the most important one, in talking about this.

Why now?

LA

this is what i wrote to him today i have finally admitted to myself that i need to let go of the pain and anger that i have been holding on to...and learn to move ahead and take responsibility for my part in our marriage that has prevented us from finding resolution instead of constantly blaming each oyher and not repairing.....IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY (GOD FORBID) I WOULD LAY BESIDE YOU AND TELL YOU HOW I WISH I COULD TAKE AWAY ALL THE HORRIBLE VINDICTIVE WORDS I SAID TO YOU AND PROMISE TO LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE EVER HAS UNTIL I COULD UNDO ALL OF THE HURT I HAVE MADE YOU FEEL...I WOULD HOLD YOU SO CLOSE TO ME AND PROMISE TO NEVER LET YOU GO..... I HAVE ACTED OUT LIKE A CHILD ... INCURRING NEGATIVE ATTENTION INSTEAD OF BEING THE WIFE AND WOMAN YOU DESERVE TO GO THROUGH LIFE WITH .... IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT THERE IS A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE ....RON ALL THE TIMES I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT I HATE YOU....I BEG YOU TO REALLY KNOW THAT I WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU BECAUSE I AM SO TERRIFIED OF REALLY LOVING AND BEING REJECTED.....YOU HAVE SHOWN ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN HOW LOVING, DEDICATED,FORGIVING,AND COMMITTED YOU ARE AND I PROMISE THIS TO YOU.........I WILL DO MY VERY BEST TO ALWAYS BITE MY TONGUE, NEVER HURT YOU THROUGH MY WORDS AND TRY TO BE THE BEST WIFE THAT I CAN TO YOU...ALL I ASK OF YOU IS TO TALK OPENLY WITH ME SO I CAN KNOW YOU AND WE CAN BECOME UNITED AS ONE...I REALLY DO WANT TO AND I AM GOING TO DO MY VERY BEST TO LET GO... FORGIVE... AND TRY TO MAKE THE REST OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER THE BEST THAT IT CAN BE.......BUT IF I STILL NEED TO TALK ABOUT THINGS PLEASE LET ME AND UNDERSTAND THAT RIGHT THEN I AM FEELING EMOTIONS THAT ARE SO STRONG THEY AFFECT ME PHYSICALLY..SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AND KNOW THAT I AM NOT TRYING TO START A FIGHT OR IRRITATE YOU..I AM JUST TRYING TO RESOLVE HOW CERTAIN THINGS AFFECT ME EMOTIONALLY OKAY?????

RON PLEASE KNOW HOW VERY MUCH I LOVE...ADMIRE...AND CHERISH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
and i only typed in capitals because my son left it that way and i really was too tired to start over