My ex moved to another state over six months ago now. I filed for a divorce in Dec. I recently moved and am changing venue, moving the case to the town I just moved. We basically go nowhere on the case except he said he wanted to reconcile then showed up once in 8 months to see his child and when I took our son to his house 8 months ago he called him my child and was too busy after spending a day with him... Plus I got access to his email and found out that he was in my state at "opening day" of a baseball game, lied to me saying he couldn't come to see his son for weeks the same weekend he was just a few hours away for five days. I"m sickened by all of this.

Someone on this site mentioned the Verbally Abusive Relationship book and how abusive people don't see reality the way the rest of us do. What he says and what he does are two different things. I read the email from his attorney and she basically was telling him I could move as I want as he's the one who left the state, and he's going to have a hard time with custody issues as the divorce proceeds because he doesn't even live here. The crazy thing is in an email he was whining about not seeing his son enough, of course it's my fault - a big fat lie since I even took his son to him a handful of times since I left him and mostly he couldn't be bothered - mowing the lawn, drinking, watching tv, everything's been more important that time with his child.

I don't get how his head works. An attorney even told me I need to stop trying to figure him out as it'll drive me insane. I used to be a journalist, this reminds me of working with a criminal, one story after another and another... just a crazy sense of reality, and I think my ex has lied his way through life that he believes his lies are real. I dont' know. I'm just tired and I need to protect my son from him I guess. Our last marriage counselor said he likely became an alcoholic in the end, he was in the basement drinking all the time our last year of marriage, he always drank but this was bad. He was abusive physically in this marriage, I finally filed dv charges against him when I left so he has that on his record.

I thought I wanted my son to know his father and spend time with him. My efforts have been in vain. Someone here said that I've been out to punish my ex and it's not true at all. He's the one who hasn't made the effort to be with his son, then he wants to cry and whine. I'm so exhausted, I need to get this divorce over with as quickly as possible. They don't call it "sole custody" anymore, but I understand that I can ask for sole decision making or whatever they call it, one attorney I called said it would only make sense as he doesn't even live in the state and hasn't seen his son enough.

My ex at first said he'd agree to switch the divorce to the county we moved, now he appears to want to fight that but the judge will likely say it's ok since neither of us live there. I'll admit I thought his attorney was evil and at least he wont' have her by moving the case and finishing it in a new county. I need to get on with my life, I don't know how much I need to battle on this - I don't trust attorneys, I haven't found a new one yet, the last one ripped me off - lied on the bill, said he called me several times and never did and his secretary did all of the work. I'm just beat, but I need to get my "second wind" and get this the heck behind me. I know my ex was hoping he could "get his way" and just see his son on his terms whenever the heck he wants to - which basically has been every 3-4 months in 1-1/2 years since I left him. I don't want my son to be alone with him or spend summers with him, what are my chances?