What good is turning a blind eye going to do, Prophet? Have you read Pepperband's "Carrot and Stick of Plan A?" You aren't supposed to be a doormat in Plan A; you don't have to accept the disrespect. If you haven't read Pepper's thread, or could use a review, it can be found here:

Pepperband's "Carrot And Stick Of Plan A" Thread


Perhaps it's time to let her know you're aware she's still in contact with OM? Are you protecting your source of information for some reason? If she doesn't know you're reading her email and you fear she'll change her password, get a keylogger on her PC before you confront her again.

If she wants to move out, you can't stop her but you DO stop enabling her adultery. She can move, but she pays for everything.

Where do you stand on Plan A now, Prophet? You've been on it since about 1 April? How long are you going to work that plan before going to Plan B? Heck, to avoid a lot of individual questions, what's your strategic plan to end this adultery and get your WW to recommit to the marriage?

LH - A keylogger is no longer an option - she found the one I had installed, and is now religiously scanning for one. I am actually using a different method of obtaining information that is non-intrusive, and captures both sides of the conversation.

Her contact is through chat within a game, and I have expressed my boundries clearly to her. She still continues the EA portion of the relationship. Since I am still in Plan A, when I confront her about these things, it drives her further away and makes her feel uncomfortable with me.

My plan is to continue Plan A for a full 3 months (which means I have a little over a month to go). She has relaxed more around me, which is a good thing, but it also means she's more comfortable talking to OM at the same time.

My plan to end this is to continue Plan A for about another month, and then go to Plan B - when she's at the point where she isn't eager to leave to continue the relationship unhindered. We're both going to MC, (same counselor, individual sessions), and I will handle my M talk there (I go tonight, she goes tomorrow). That way it is communicated to her by a third party. I have been working hard on my happiness, and was feeling pretty OK until I saw that correspondence.

Plan B is my real weapon to end the adultery I think - exposure didn't work, though I can try to talk to some of the key players again and see if that can make an impact. Should I talk to OM (24 year old kid - manipulator type)? I don't think he'd care if he was hurting her, he's very self centered.

That's about all I have at this point.

I'm in a similar situation. My wife tells me she loves me, then I recorded a disturbing conversation she had with the OM that included sexually explicit details that I wish I hadn't heard.

It made me want to give up, but I haven't quite thrown in the towel yet.