HI
It has been over one year since ww left me,and our two teens for om.The kids have not seen her since she took off.
I received the div letter with no court date yet about 2 months ago. She called in January cause her cousin passed away,and now called again this weekend with more sad news about her aunt also passing. She called here ,but my son was in the shower ,and I was at the market,so she called my daughter at her work to deliver the bad news. She upset my daughter more by calling her at work,and my daughter would have rather got the news from me,or a relative.My ex does not think before she does things.
Anyway,my kids are 19,actually an adult,and my son is 16 ,and neither one wants anything to do with her.My ex says its been a year that they should have gotten over her departure,and start talking to her.She also is asking for a copy of my son's honor roll name from the paper,and looking for recent pics of both kids. She DOES NOT get it.She left us all for om ,and she tries to brush it off like its all good with the kids now.
My daughter is not goin to the funeral ,cause she don't think she will hold up well enough. I went to the cousin's in the day while ex went at night. It may just be the same again. We argued again yesterday on the phone about her selfish behavior ,and why she took off. I am much better off not talking to her,and she rather not talk ,so she can avoid the guilt she is trying to escape.
I think the kids are old enough to make their own decisions about avoiding their mother ,and not wanting anything to do with her. Should I give her anything about my kids ,or just ignore her also?

I am a BS and may soon be in your position so keep it in that perspective. Your WW is still their mother. Try to keep the kids out of your issues. I would give her what she wants regarding the kids. You don't know what their relationship will be like in the future but I hope it can eventually be a good one. Don't let yourself get in the way of that possibility. Your kids can (and will) fight their own battles with WW. Maybe some day they will forgive her. You never know.

Hey Steve, I would let the kids contact her if they want to. She is reaping what she has sown. So sorry that it came to this, but very glad you don't have to have your nose rubbed in this every day. You have great kids, Steve, give them a hug for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

oops

IMVHO, if your CW wants something from the kids, she should ask THEM. She can get a copy of the honor roll paper herself. She can take the kids over to a quickie photo place. Every mall seems to have one. Get out of the loop.

What is your CW's motivation? Does she want the honor roll thing to prove to herself how well your son is doing without her? Does she want pictures to show somebody?

My CH doesn't get either. He wants me to facilitate his relationship with the kids and I'm not doing it. I believe it's up to him to rebuild it. The effort you put into kids almost always repays itself. If you don't lay the foundation well, you will always have a shaky house. Your kids, like mine need to have an independent relationship with their other parent.

I will give her a copy of my son's honor roll.After all her running off made us all better people. Who needs a cheater ,and liar around.