Hi Sad and Confused67,
My WH was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in January, and
I definitely think the disorder has a connection to his
having gotten involved in the affair he is currently in.
He had been diagnosed about five years ago with depression
and OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and had tried at
least 10-12 different anti-depressants, none of which helped
much. After reading an article about bipolar, I really felt
my H fit the description, but he didn't think so and didn't
want to pursue it.
Then, back in December, WH got a DUI. He went into a very
bad depression with terrible anxiety, which scared him
enough that he decided to go back to the Doctor.
Before he went I asked him to fill out a screening test I had found online for bipolar disorder. He took it to the Dr, and they also did a screening test for depression and anxiety. He scored high on anxiety, depression and bipolar
and the Dr suggested he needed to see a specialist since
he had already tried so many meds. At the same time, WH
got an appt. with a counselor, and after one session with
her she felt WH was in very bad shape and suspected bipolar
disorder as well. She helped WH get an "emergency" appt.
with a psychiatrist in her same practice, who viewed WH's
screening tests, talked to him at length, and asked a lot
of questions. He was able to firmly diagnose WH with BPD
and immediately put him on different medication. He also
told us that people are often diagnosed with depression
when what they really have is bipolar, and that regular
anti-depressants usually either don't help, or can even
make the bipolar person worse.
My WH is diagnosed as having "Bipolar Disorder II", which is the less severe of the forms of it. He has never gone
the full "range" of moods from very low to very high- he
is more more in the "middle", and more on the depressed
side than the "high". He is now on a mood-stabilizer for
bipolar (there are several different ones), and an anti-
depressant to help get his mood up.
I am not around him much now, but could see a real change
when he first started on these meds- he is still "down"
and has some moodiness, but his moods don't change nearly
as much and aren't as dramatic as they were.
He goes to the Dr about every 3 weeks to talk about how he is doing, adjust the dose, talk to his psychiatrist, and
is doing weekly therapy with a counselor to help learn some
coping skills, and deal with other issues.
Have you been diagnosed with depression or any other disorders ? If you feel like you might have bipolar, there
is a lot of information on websites, and several also have
the screening test that my WH used. It's just an easy and
short questionnaire that you fill out, then take to the Dr.
so they can evaluate it. You could start out with your
family Dr. and if they feel you need further evaluation or
help beyond their expertise, they may refer you to a
psychiatrist, who can help with medication and therapy.
Once on the proper medication, my WH said he felt better
than he had for years (as far as his mood), so it's sure worth it to find out and get treated !
What I believe was the link between WH's disorder(s) and his
affair what that he was feeling unhappy, discontent, and
bored and instead of talking about it or thinking it might
be related to his depression and issues, he decided it must
be me and the marriage. That led him to get on the internet
looking for "excitement" and that's where he met OW.
I'm sure there are other factors too, like some mid-life
crisis, WH's having an addictive-type personality, growing up in a dysfunctional family and more, but I sure do think
his disorder was the "root" where this all began.
Best wishes to you-
Slammed
