WH ended the affair a couple weeks ago.. Actually after D-day OW ended it with him. Last week he left for a week to mutual friends in another state to "Clear" his head. I know he didn't see her. As selfish as that was, at least he wasn't with her. So, now he is back and is so wishy washy. He says that he is 95 percent here just for our daughter. So I say well this isn't going to work then so lets move on. THen he starts changing his tune. THis goes on ALL the time. He says totally mean things (claims he is trying to be honest) then when I say okay so lets seperate he starts taking it back. But the thing that bothers me the most is that he says he never felt any guilt. Should I believe this? Is this something he is trying to convince himself of? I mean if he really never felt any guilt I do NOT want to be with him. I deserve so much better. He has lost his mind. He doesn't make any sense. I feel like he needs some DEEP counceling!! I am scared about what will happen to my daughter's dad at this point.

He says that he is 95 percent here just for our daughter.

quit answering back his silly poor me mantras...

1. say COOL!!!
2. smile
3. say ME TOO!! (smile)
4. nod your head (smile)

DO NOT GO DOWN THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK...ROAD
DO NOT GO DOWN YOU BETTER DO BETTER THAN THAT...ROAD...

STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

He says totally mean things (claims he is trying to be honest) then when I say okay so lets seperate he starts taking it back

like what ???

and babble back...

he's testing you...and YOU are failing...how can he share how bad he really feels even if right now he feels bad that he is missing her....IF you are ready to throw in the towel every couple minutes??

be kind
be strong...
be pleasant and engaging....

and draw him towards you and your duaghter...

agree with him...
by not agreeing...

yes I see
I hear what you are saying...
etc...

you can not back him in to the corner to feel guilt...his not feeling guilt is a survival method holding it at bay...

the ramifications of what he has done..literrally DO hold his soul in balance of salvation....

to face that guilt takes a strong person....and you need to decide if you are willing to hold him through that process or give up on him now...a few weeks post d-day...

why aren't you BOTH in positive marriage counseling..
what are his 'reasons' for the affair..
did you expose
are you sure there is NO contact..how do you know....

why are trying to get blood from a stone right now...

ARK