M2,
My WW will not discuss anything. As much as I would like to she refuses, gets upset, walks away. When this happens I feel guilty for bringing it up, resentment builds and then I am in a sour mood until I get over it.
A fear that I had until recently was that WW would one day down the road decide she wants to tell her story. Well as much as I would like to hear it now, a year from now will be very painful, 2 years will be worse than another D-Day. What I'm trying to say is a little pain now will prevent a lot of pain later. Also keeping him in the dark causes pain daily, like a wound that won't heal, he keeps picking at it, it hurts worse, gets infected, gangrene sets in and eventually he will lose a large chunk of flesh or maybe die. You can prevent that by exercising Radical Honesty.
The reason for this is men want problems identified, solutions figured out, and the problem fixed right away. It is easier to get it overwith and move on rather than waiting, watching, and when things are finally so broken it might be better to buy a new one, it's also cheaper to fix things right away. Men also get attached to things, you've heard about the guys who have underwear or a favorite shirt or jeans they have had for years and are really just rags, but don't you dare throw them out. See what I'm saying???
Soooo Radical honesty is the only way to go. Spill it get it out into the open, look at it from every angle, wear your thick skin that day so you won't get your feelings hurt if he says the wrong thing in the wrong way. Know that he probably wasn't intentionally trying to hurt you with his words, it just came out that way. Understand you know everything including your reasons, thoughts etc...as to why you had an A, he knows nothing and understands even less. He will be coming from a position of weakness, lack of knowledge (Data), and will feel helpless, angry, hurt, lost, indecisive. Also understand most men are uncomfortable with feelings and really uncomfortable with feelings that trigger emotions and really really uncomfortable with feelings that trigger really strong emotions. So you have to wear your thickest skin. You might have to mother him as you would your very young son who has been hurt badly and doesn't understand why. You are smart you will be able to tell when he needs and desperately wants you to hold him and tell him it will be OK and that you guys will make it. Sometimes that's all it takes.
Have you seen the movie The Wedding Singer? When they are in the bar the limo dirver friend says all he wants is a woman to love him and hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright? Sometimes that is all it takes, especially if it comes from your heart and he senses that you truly mean it, he will be able to fell it.
Good Luck!
