This weekend hopefully, still trying to get her e-mail addy. I have IM text, dates/times/text of text messaging, and my word. That is all I can give for physical evidence. This is just so sad that it comes down to this, but I have to protect my family.

I have just recently gone through this with my WH. I would urge you to expose the EA now because these things have a way of coming out anyway. In my case it was the OW boyfriend who made the first move which at that point the whole thing got turned on me and I was then criticized about my actions. Which as ridiculous as that is it still hurt to hear how much someone else knew about my H and our marriage. His EA changed how I see him completely. I am not only disappointed in him but also in myself for not being more proactive. I, too, would recommend you buy not "just friends" by Shirley Glass. It was a good way for me to be able to force the issue without getting painted into that same old corner where he claimed the friends card and made me feel like I was crazy. I say go with your gut. I know it's hard and it hurts more than you thought possible but now more than ever you need to trust yourself. Trust what you know to be true and trust that you'll be okay if you WW doesn't come around.

Lots of Luck
Mellysue

Thanks Mellysue, I am going to look into that book today. I am tired of feeling like I am nuts even though there is something in my gut that tells me it is wrong. I just hate looking at the fact that all of our history and everything is in peril because of an EA. Just crazy. Good luck to you as well, I hope that it works out for you and your children.

Hi gang,

An update, no I still have not found OMW's e-mail. I did the standard searches but she does not share the same last name with him and they live in another state. The quest will continue as I query some mutual friends for info.

I had a question for you ... we had a great weekend and I am not bringing up any relationship stuff. So maybe I am getting fog-bound by thinking maybe things are OK. Is this normal?

I know that she is continuing to text OM but he only answers maybe once to her three. He is usually quite vague and doesn't say anything but topical stuff (weather, how long his drive was to where he was going, etc.). Could it be a normal friendship at this point? I highly doubt it with the fact that there is secrecy and what I found in their IM a couple of years ago but I respect what this group says because of all the experience out there. Please direct me because I feel like the fog is getting in my head too!

TOH