Last Friday night, I went out with some friends and in comes WH into the bar. He saw me having a great time with friends, ordered a drink, took two sips and walked out of the bar. WH starts sending me texts and calling me all of which I ignored. All of them were pretty nasty too, he was assuming that I was moving on. He texted and phoned from 11:30 straight through to 3:30 in the morning.

The only reason I went to that bar was because I know for a fact that he was hoping to meet a certain woman there. From what I could tell she declined his invitation. Amazing he would worry about my intentions. I was wearing my rings.

As soon as I got home I emailed my plan B letter, he responded right away w/ "I am at a point where I would like to work on things." Ofcourse I accepted - ofcourse no actions followed. He has not made one move to work on our marriage. He is back to "I don't know - I don't know"

How and should I revise my plan B letter and do it again?

Thanks a million in advance,

Julie

I would say no. You have sent the letter. He knows what is required of him. You opened the door to accept his wishing to work on it. He no-showed.

I would say that you should go into Plan B. Refuse his emails, his texts, and DEFINITELY his phone calls.

And if you are in Plan B, you should not be arriving at a place where you know you'll see him, like that bar.

I sent the letter when I got home from the bar.

I just wasn't sure if I should revise the letter and resend it.

Thanks

Julie

jj, Just stick to that letter and stick to a dark Plan B.

Don't let his attempts to break through lure you into coming out of Plan B.

Good luck

jj,

The next time he emails you just respond with

"Please refer to my letter to you dated ____.""

And NOTHING ELSE.

And do not respond to any more emails. Block him from your email account.

OR just do not respond at all.

I am just not sure if even replying to an email is breaking plan B...but since you have responded already, a referance to the plan B letter is proly the best way to go.

IMHO

k

""And if you are in Plan B, you should not be arriving at a place where you know you'll see him, like that bar.""

AMEN!!

I know. But you were setting yourself up for TREMENDOUS hurt. I want you to avoid that.

JustJulie,
I am on the eve of giving my WH his plan B letter. I know its hard and you really want to believe them when they wave the white flag. But as I am sure you have read here actions speak way louder than words ( his and yours). When he truely wants to work at it you will know...and that only begins a conversation its not a free pass home. And in plan B you need to show him you are serious. The best way to do that is to stick to your word....your plan B letter.

You need to stick up for yourself..."I will NOT accept less than I deserve." (thats my mantra)

Plan B is for you as much as it is him. To do 1/2 a plan B is worse than no plan B at all IMHO. He will think he can manipulate you and continue to do as he pleases. A strong plan B sends the message...he'll get it.

Be strong. Be patient.