Hi everyone,

Sorry probably just need to vent, but I am so tired of dealing with everything. Last week my H announced in therapy he was done and wants a divorce - OK, I dealt with the blow contacted attorney etc. told him to finish the papers so I can move on.

H calls yesterday from our scheduled therapy session with marriage counselor. He says are you coming? I said um, last week you told me you wanted a divorce so I cannot figure out why I would want to continue with marriage counseling. He says well she is going to help us navigate through our divorce. I said I really do not want to go and be constantly reminded that I am not married or going to be. Sorry I am a little too exposed and hurt to move in this direction at the moment.

Then he calls and says when are you moving out of the house I have your money. I am like we have not even signed paper yet and he wants me to move out so he can move back into our home. I have decided to sell it to him - for my own reasons - I think it will be in my best interest in the long run.

I guess I am just hurt he has been calling me and sort of bugging me all week and then calls this morning missed his call. No calls since and of course today if the OW day off so I am sure he is with her. I know I cannot worry about that anymore, but it still burns this woman amd my H (he has responsibility to) did all this damage to me and my children and he is riding off into the sunset. Also what bothers me is he complains that I keep the children from him...well he has been off all week and took the children out for dinner for an hour and that is all this week. Although he has had the time. Then today he rushes off to spend the day with her and her children. I know it is not fair and I probably need to move on and who cares, but it still hurts....

Just want a quiet normal life....I guess I miss what I had and now it is gone and I need to move on...

Guess what? YOu will have a normal quiet life as a divorcee. Perhaps, not quite the life you dreamed of, but never the less.

Stop letting the child visitation issues get to you. He's pulling at your strings. And don't move out until your lawyer gives you the okay.

I agree, but I just get bothered by some things. One is he tries to come off as the concerned parent, but the only time he really cares about spending time with his children is when he has nothing else to do. If something comes up that we would rather do then they get dumped. I just never know if he is taking them for the weekend until the last minute. I guess I could ask, but I don't. I feel like the only time he is daddy is when his parents or relatives come to visit then he is all concerned - otherwise he could care a less.

I am not moving out until my attorney says OK. Plus I probably should have someplace to go - I have been procrastinating on this one - I was hoping he would wise up and I would not have to leave, but I think I am better off without him. I just need to convince myself someday down the line something better will come into my life and my childrens and I will think back - what the ****** was I doing?

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your pain. I remember those dark times too. I was betrayed by my ex with an OW. It's one of the most painful times in my life. I'm not sure one can hurt more as a human being than to be betrayed by a spouse.

You know what, though? It's been over 6 years since my divorce and today, life is darn good. While you may think this is impossible for you, I tell you - it is NOT. If you don't continue couples counseling, then PLEASE continue counseling for yourself. You need all the help you can get. Especially for your children. That's the worst of it - the impact divorce has on the children. But, you can stem the damage by moving forward. Believe me, I've done it.

Dear, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bereft right now, but it will pass. That I promise you. I will light a candle for you tonite.

Blessings,
Lirek

Thanks so much. I am currently in counseling for myself. I need to rebuild self esteem and make me feel more whole again.

I think it is the children that hurt the most. I just feel bad for all they have to endure - moving, no daddy around, feeling different from others. Over all they are handeling it well.

I think once I am out of his control with all I will feel better. Once everything is signed and done there hopefully will be a sense of relief anf I can make my own decisions - right now I feel tied to him.

Thanks.

I am so glad you are in counseling. That is KEY. Believe me, I understand this dark night of the soul. I've been there. It's not easy. My heart is with you dear.