OK here goes,

I posted on here a couple of years ago and found it very helpful. I thought that was over but alas here I am again. Bsack then i thought my wife was involved in at the very least an emotional affair and it turned out the be basically true. As I said at the begining of this post i thought those things were behind me but now I am not sure.

The reason is it seems alot of the same things that were happening back then are happening again now although under different (actually harder to deal with) circumstances.

My wife has recently been ttraveling for work alot more (almost every other week now). I let her know I was not thrilled with this but that i would not make an isssue of it. Well since this has started occuring the thing that is making me uneasy is that the complaining about me has begun again, (just like the last time). I am too negative, I am not supportive, I am down too much. Basically it is all about what is wrong with me. It almost seems as if she goes out of her way to fight with me lately.

While all this is occuring it appears to me (now this is where I really need to know if I am over reacting)that she is having the time of her life while away. Is it normal for her to be going out to dinner every night on the road? Most nights with her male boss? Is it normal for him to not fly out of where a meeting is going on so as to ride back with her to the airport near where we live and fly out of there? And of course due to this the phone call I was supposed to get from her on her way home never came. I may be totally over reacting and if so PLEASE tell me so but I just have a bad feeling.

Ok I have rambled enough. Time to go crack open a beer.Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.

Has she ended all contact with the OM?

ahhhhhhhhhh, I just read that she had an affair with a coworker a couple of years ago. Has contact ended with that coworker?

If you are seeing all the same signs again, I would suggest that you do some sleuthing to see what is really going on. Whatever you do, DON'T ignore your instincts about this. They are usually right.

And you know what? Maybe a traveling job isnt the best thing for your marriage if this keeps happening? Something to think about for the future....

Big red flags flying from the top of the flagpole, UO. If you’ve been here before, you know darn well what they mean.

I'll echo Melody's question. Have you done any intelligence gathering? If you were here a couple of years ago, you haven’t seen a fairly recent thread with pointers on how to do that. Check out the link to “Snooping 101” in my signature block.

Also, I’ve thrown together a generic guideline for newly betrayed spouses that I have a link to also. If you have a few moments, you might click on the link to “How To Organize A Marital Recovery Plan” also.

If you’ve been here before, you know folks here at MB come here for the sole purpose of helping others through what they’ve already faced. Welcome. We’re sorry to see you here again, but you’ve come to the right place.

Let me ask you this. If the roles were reversed what do your think your wife would be feeling? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes. You are very justified in your feelings. The chances are pretty good that something is going on with her
boss. This appears to be a second affair for her. After what you have endured in the past you would think she would have been more considerate of your feelings. What does it take to make a phone call? Again her actions say a great deal.

uneasy -

What kind of recovery was there for you and your M after the first A?

MY W has had 2 As. 1st one 2.5 yrs ago. EA. Her EA/PA this time ran for 5 months. I suspected heavily before I knew that she was in another A. Her behavior was SO MUCH like it was during the first A that I kind of discounted it - "No way this could be so formulaic" I told myself.

She was losing weight, concerned about her appearance, asking me when I was going to return home, working late. Right down the checklist. Her behavior was so cliche I felt like I was watching a movie from another person's life. She even told me - because she had to, OMW was calling the house - that she was "thinking" about having an affair. I was indifferent. Until I saw the email evidence. At which point my whole world came crashing down. There it was in black and white.

Gird yourself. You've been through this before. If that radar, which was so finely tuned during the last A, is picking up signals then there is a strong possibility wifey is in another A.

As you probably know, it's time to get to snooping so you can uncover the reality. HOPEFULLY this snooping reveals that all of these events are circumstance only. I sure hope so.

Also – I traveled in my job. I can tell you that it is absolutely not normal to add an extra leg to your itinerary for no good reason. All road warriors want to get to their destination in as few hops as possible. ESPECIALLY home. Direct flights are manna. Indirects are bamboo under the fingernails.

How long has this been going on?