My FWH and I have been in recovery for 18 months.

6 years ago, He had a one night stand with a former client and a three week affair with an ex girlfriend.

He told me about both affairs 18 months ago because the former girlfriend contacted him and wanted to resume affair.

We called the ex-girlfriend and he told her NC. We did not contact the former client at all because he had not heard from her in years and because I was still in ignorance of MB principals.

Last night he told me that yesturday when he came back to his office from lunch he had a message from the former client asking him to call her.

He notified his receptionist that she was not to transfer calls to him from that former client but we both realize that she could call him when the receptionist isn't there and get through to him.

Should he call FOW and tell her NC or should we do a letter?

I would. Not the call, just the letter providing he still knows her address.

Who

I would also do the letter first! If you don't have the address, do a reverse look up on the phone number on google to get the address. Just a thought!

H and I just went through the same thing not long ago after almost 6 years of NC. I had been friends with this OW before d-day. We did send an NC letter long ago and OW did try and contact ME a few more times. I ignored her.

But a couple of months ago we started getting some strange calls at all hours of the day and night. It smelled like OW to me. Then one day when I came home from work H asked me to listen to a message that had ben left while he was out. It was the OW in a state of panic. She HAD TO speak with ME. She asked I not call her back, rather she would call me.

H and I discussed it and waited for the call which never came. She never called back. However had she called we had BOTH had decided that no matter who answered the phone, H or myself we would say "Sorry....we have no interest in talking to you" Click.

I figure she didn`t call back because she`s in the pokey...the last time she pulled this type of stunt (several years ago) she was on her way to jail. I figure it`s the same scenario this time too.

My advice to you is to ignore this. She may never call back. After 6 years of NC a letter/phone call to he may give this situation more importance than it merits. If she does call back you have to POJA a response with your H. Something short, sweet and to the point. You don`t to make too big a deal out of this unless your radar is detecting something.

You gave your H a great big kiss for telling you immediately about the call right? He did the right thing.

I would not worry too much about this.

I am having lunch with my husband and will discuss sending a letter. THANKS.

Your advice is exactly what we thought last night, but this morning after thinking about it I wondered if that course of action leaves "control" in the hands of the FOW.

Have to sign off until Tuesday but I will consider this very carefully and discuss with my H before we do anything.