I'm boiling mad, and have to keep from showing it. I am devoting this weekend to expanding my job search. I want to get out of here. Now.

I learned this week that XH, the No. 2 man in this New Age community, is about to get the boot. Or rather, he is being pushed out. Apparently, his weirdness is finally surfacing on radar screens around town. People have gotten tired of the ridiculous circus sideshow the two of them are presenting.

He is being banned from a number of his activities. This means he has virtually nothing to do all day except crab at OW and feed his pornography addiction.

I warned everyone that something was seriously wrong, three years ago -- at D-Day. In a sense, I'm glad that my info wasn't the data to bring him down. It's hard to be the snitch when you are a wife. But to be shoved aside for this kind of sycophancy, only to watch people now reverse course without even an apology.

I was marginalized, rebuffed, humiliated -- and lives were destroyed. I'll never forget my stepson saying, "I never thought my father would do this to me twice."

Of course, there is still a lot of denial, and factionalism may be brewing. But XH is far too depraved and listless to start his own cultus -- unless someone sets up the works for him. And there are probably loyal volunteers for the position.

So if you hear of a cultus forming in the Bay Area, with a crippled man at its head, with a strange dark woman at his side who makes bizarre pronouncements that cause whole rooms to shuffle at once -- don't join the bandwagon. It's a bad scene.

But XH is lazy and thoroughly spent. Anything he starts independently will fizzle quickly -- he doesn't have the drive or the moral power to keep anything together. At close range, the problems that people are reacting to will be seen to be parter of a much larger, disastrous whole. If he grovels enough, he might be able to wriggle back into favor. I suppose that will be his first line of action. But the good Dr. Jekyll might grovel -- and then Mr. Hyde will do something else. Been that way for awhile. And people are finally noticing.

The wistress has a role in this -- she might be whispering bad advice into his ear. She is aggressive and mentally unstable. His loyalists are still in denial about that -- but she's a lesbian with a history of problems. That's known.

The very people who were in denial three years ago -- who spat at me -- are now leading the pack of hounds to get him ousted. The hypocrisy staggers me.

But daughter graduates next month. And I hope I hope I hope I will be leaving here soon soon soon.

Thank you all for your support. I have to act cool. I want to go to the marketplace and scream "You fools! You fools! You fools!" I want to slap the wistress, hard, and say, "Can you see now that you've destroyed him?" He is disabled, and has no way of making a living -- he will be thorougly dependent on her and her independent income (since she can't make a living either).

I don't know what stage their relationship is in -- nobody would -- but the signs are bad. She might check out quickly when she finds out she's backed a loser. On the other hand, her black hole of emotional need might crave his dependency. Sick, sick, sick.

I doubt her wealthy family in South America will want to back this loser -- they've probably figured out the truth by now -- but who knows? He may set up shop south of the border. That would be especially disastrous, because he would be under their thumb and I suspect it would be brutal.

I am disgusted, and angry. But I have to stay focused on getting a job and getting OUT. Once D is out of school -- I'm free at last.

I would wager that the OW won't hang in there very long. That is the hallmark of the WS's. They take the easy way out.

I don't know, believer. Something can be out of gas, but it can go a long, long way on the fumes. This Lady Macbeth is a drama queen, and the excitement of all this may give her a cause.

The problem is, he is a depressive with a limited taste for drama. At least, some sides of him. But maybe this is giving him a thrill -- better than finding a new OW. My guess is he's on the lookout for an exit affair, but he's in no shape to attract one anymore. The best he could attract was her.

My best guess also is that he's in denial about what's happening. If you can't control it, pretend it isn't happening.

I think on this one the karma bus is making a good, long stop in front of everybody's house.

I was reading an old post from a couple of years ago where the WH had an accident at work. He fell 3 stories and had permanent brain damage. The OW, who he was leaving his wife for, "couldn't stand to see him like that" and rode off into the sunset while he was still in the hospital. The wife is still caring for him in her home.

But people's attitudes are sometimes so hypocritical, I don't blame you for wanting to move.

...and shake the dust from my feet...

This is an OW who needs to be needed. She had the gall to tell a friend of mine after D-Day that my husband "was the only one who accepted her love."

Nonsense. There's always someone to accept love. Very few who can give it. Of course, like all the others, she wants to FEEL loved, and he can't help her much with that.

But all this drama may extend the life of this thing -- or end it. Certainly it will put pressure on it.

Get under your desks. Bury your head in your knees and cover your neck with your hands. This little sucker is going to explode.

This whole thing is going to be very disorienting for him. He has NEVER been out of favor before, in his whole life. His parents spoiled him, told everyone how clever he is, etc., he's been given an unexamined sinecure for years. He won't know how to deal with this sitch.

She, on the other hand, has never been IN favor. She's confrontational, and aggressive -- though hiding under a passive exterior.

Fireworks.

BUT THIS IS FOR ALL YOU BETRAYED SPOUSES OUT THERE! My circumstances were as atypical as you can imagine. And all the stuff we say on here STILL WORKS! It really is true. It's very predictable! The same script, with a few variation.

aHHH...Jabba and his wistress are excommunicated! Or was that exorcised? Oh well....getting what f'ing b deserves imho.

I sure hope he has no longer any people left to feed his narcissism...as that is what he really needs. To come back to earth (crash if you will) and see reality for once for what it is...no twisted arrogant version of it. And the wistress? We will see when his perceived powerbase is gone how she will like living day to day.

People like that are UNABLE TO DAY TO DAY LIVE...WITHOUT DRAMA...WITHOUT CONTROLLING OTHERS...THEY CANNOT BE HAPPY...IF THERE IS NO STRUGGLE, NO CONTEST, NO WAR TO WAGE, THEY ARE NOT HAPPY.

That's my xh. He is happiest when ****** rains down on him...and he HAS to absolutely control people. All around him. Again, he also has the grandiose fantasies also...I mean...he's got a panic room in his new palace...and a giant iron gate surrounding it.

Maybe he will dig a moat next? Some gators around it? they can survive in this climate incidentally. but we don't need gators in lake lanier.

Oh not a chance of that, I'm afraid. There are still plenty of enablers. There is a swelling chorus of sympathy within a counterculture -- and some of them will probably be willing to support his breakaway faction.

But they don't know he's a freeloader. And they'll get tired of it. Especially when they see he uses him like a towel. Her, too.

The thing is, he's been playing a very subtle double game. He's been an upholder of the mainstream -- and then fostering a counterculture on the side. When you are working for one man, that's a dangerous game to play; eventually he'll catch on. The good Dr. Jekyll has no idea he's doing this; but Mr. Hyde knows.

The mainstream is probably defecting big-time. And from them he derives his authority and status. And they've never liked her. They've only put up with her because of his position.

So drama? She's in her element. But he's on new terrain. I'm not sure he'll like it. Or her.

And he certainly won't like not having a paycheck.

ms. am martin..

you remain in my prayers till the day you leave that place...

windows down
sun shining
smile on your face...

F R E E D O M !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARK

A.M., I really hope you leave there soon. You're still watching the drama -- addicted to it from close up, because you can't get away from it. I really hope you're able to get the job elsewhere and get away from this. The story you're witnessing is truly amazing and awful.

But.

It's not your story anymore.

I'd like to hear your own story -- and I'd like it to be a happy one -- told with such vividness as you're able to give this one.