So my H and the OW work very closely together almost everyday and I know the most ideal way to deal is for him to get another job. But I am 7.5 mos pregnant and we have three other kids. So for the time being we have to maintain our insurance coverage first ande foremost. As much as I would love for him to be away from OW as would he it's just not a possibility right now. My H has spoken to his boss about making sure he is not alone with her if possible and she agreed so they are together alone less next month. His boss knows about the EA. The problem is the OW is getting desperate. She's constantly asking their co-workers what he's saying and she was always the classic damsel in distress so of course she's stepping it up. Now she is touching my H in small ways and has even resorted to texting him while he's at home which she had stopped doing. She so obviously enjoys upsetting me. But now I'm afraid of what she's got up her sleeve. The EA was terminated because her boyfriend contacted my H and she went to their boss and said I was stalking her. I have never contacted her or been in her physical vicinty but as I said drama is her middle name. She also takes great pride in having to leave all her previous jobs because someone "fell in love" with her. I read a thread about NC at work which had some great suggestions as did Not "just friends" by Shirley Glass but does wnyone have any more ideas. We are still very early in the recovery process-about 3 wks. And I am of course still in detective mode and we just started MC. Not to mention I'm still feeling slightly ambivilant being still so fresh. I get so stressed out every time he goes to work and it makes it very hard to start rebuilding trust but we don't really have another option at this point. What we need is for her to leave but again unlikely especially if she still thinks she can cause problems for my H and me. PLEASE HELP!! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks
Mellysue

Your husband needs to send her a no contact letter, and copy on to her BF. It should say he loves you and is working on the marriage, and wants no contact with her for any reason.

He needs to change his number so that she cannot TM him.

He needs to talk to the boss if she is touching him.

You only have another 6 weeks until the baby is born. I suggest your husband start looking for another job now.

Like believer says, start looking for that new job now. WH can get that resume updated and sent out. He can start interviewing for those jobs too. If I were you, I wouldn't be afraid of moving to a new city or even another state. A fresh start for everyone concerned can be a great thing.

If the OW is doing this "touching" thing, notifying the boss is definitely in order.

A thought: after sending that NC letter I wonder if there would be a possibility of a lawsuit siting (sexual) harrassment. How about sending the NC letter by registered mail to make it a legal document? Keep those text messages and records of the phone calls. A protection order might be possible. Can you check with an attorney?

An affair is an addiction.

The cycle of addiction most likely will not be broken unless firm NC is maintained.

This means that even seeing each other from across a crowded room can re-ignite a spark.

I understand your predicament, but this is a very dangerous game. Is this really something either of you is willing to take a chance on?

My WH has actually posted his resume on a couple of sites but his heart doesn't seem all that in it. He seems so remorseful but I'm not sure whether or not to trust that. I have been thinking about having an attorney involved just for sanitys sake. And because he has talked to his boss but she is not the proactive type. She has actually caught the OW going through his work email and did nothing so I'm not sure she's the best one to go to anyway. I personally think a NC letter is a phenomenal idea especially because then there is an established record of him trying to end contact so that if the OW tries to claim sexual harrassment or anything of the like my H will have some credibility. I greatly appreciate your feedback and support. Everything still feels so cloudy and scary-it helps to hear from people who understand.

Mellysue

Melly, recovery won't start until he leaves that job. You will be dealing with this affair on a daily basis until contact ends, I am sorry to say.