well, I am still chugging along in plan b, and havent broken the rules. I have tried to keep busy, but today I was thinking about WH, and feel so detached from him. I really feel like I dont know him at all anymore. There hasn't been anymore drama, and I am actually doing fine, and enjoying this calmness. I feel like I dont have any feelings for him, just indifference, and that really scares me. I keep wandering if he also feels the same.

You are doing exceptionally well. Usually there are a few slips at first. I kept answering WH's calls from time to time, hoping he had changed. He hadn't.

Keep doing what you are doing. With you out of the picture, OW will have to meet all of his needs, and he won't be able to blame you anymore.

I haven't posted to you before, but I just read your thread, and wanted to say that I am so impressed with your sticking -to-the-guns of plan B. You're doing amazing. I know it is hard, but you're doing great.
Is it getting easier each day?

What are you doing for YOU?

Thank you guys so much for your encouragement. Most days are getting easier, but there are some days that are hard to get through (much fewer then before). I am staying busy, busy and it seems to work for the most part. I am also finally learning spanish...something I have always wanted to do, especially being in TX. And next month, I am going on a vacation to Africa for a few weeks (sonething else i always wanted to do).

I feel hopeless today. WH sent me an email today telling me didnt love me anymore, and that he was filing for a D, and that I need to move on and find someone else. I just cried and cried. And then he called my cell phone, and left a very cold message stating the same. It sounded so buisness like, and matter of fact. I guess he doesnt care. I had to leave work early b/c I just couldnt fight back the tears.

hello masosa.

i am in plan B also. WH and I saw each other only once since i didn't let him go home (so much for a plan A, i only made it for a week or so). sometimes he initiates contact now. asking how our son is thru ym. it sucks when i sometimes do LB but then i try to be nice again. he will not consent to a NC letter so we aren't doing much headway on R.

he did offer to bring us with him to another country in case he gets hired to a job he applied for. i don't know what to do. he says if he gets accepted he might be leaving in a month or so. and he wants to start again. im sorry im not trying to hichjack your thread but it just makes me so confused.

hang in there with ur plan B. reading and browsing this site also gives me hope. but then i'm probably in a fog now and i can't function logically also.

i'm praying for you...

isn't it funny that this man INSISTS on calling you every few days just to rant he doens't love you...

sounds like a two year old...
babbling.....

why the need to call and tell you every two days...

here's one or two scenarios....

WH and OP find out that all the drama and lies fed their affair....
that the excitement and the allure was sneaking and risking sooo much just to be together...

well now they are together...and in time as the dust settles finding that it's not quite the reality....

that building a foundation on lies and hurt....does not make for much..

and the people that they became to get to where they are are people that niether would really like or care to be or hang with....

this can play out many many ways...

he and she cling to one another in their vileness and never grow past that...

OR

slowly they begin to take real stock of who they have become and live real lives....
realizing that they don't really like who they are and what they have become....

you don't need to concern with any of their drama...and really there must be some drama...otherwise why call you every few days..

why....
if sooo happy...
and if he hates you so much why would he CARE if you do or don't move on....

just sit back.....
relax...
focus on you and living a life above hurt onto others...

***thread jack...

about2giveup..

sometimes he initiates contact now. asking how our son is thru ym. it sucks when i sometimes do LB but then i try to be nice again. he will not consent to a NC letter so we aren't doing much headway on R.

what are you talking about..
plan B NO CONTACT...
if you are LBing in plan B...you better give it up..go back to plan A and start all over...

are you in a power struggle over no contact..or in a power struggle over a no contact letter...

ARK

hi ark.

sori i had a thread in just found out but nobody replies to it. i can do no contact actually. but he was the one who initiated it and broached the subject of R (it was me who did it before) i suspect he just brings up random subjects like our son (whom he does not have visitation rights of), my finances (he is just supposed to deposit a set amount every 15 days in my account), and a house that we already paid a downpayment for (this one is still something that we can't really decide on whether to give it up or go on with it). he even tells me he is still working overtime in the ofc even when i don't ask (but i don't really care about the OT excuse, he already used that before, i beleived him and look where it got me!)

when he broached R and us moving, i told him i had misgivings. then after a while i said i would be willing if he did an NC and he says he won't! and that's why i suspect the affair is still ongoing. he says the OW texts him but he does not agree to them meeting. oh right! it's better to be a little doubtful right? and i think there are 2 OW! one lives far (i think she's OW1) and OW2 lives in the city.

his mother is arriving today to try to sort things out. i don't know what will happen. i just pray for God's will and that i will be able to do what is right for me and my son and our family.

to masosa:

true, why does he call you? i guess i should be asking myself that too, how come they (WS) initiate contact if they are so happy with what they have now. Guilt? probably. and that means they're not happy. i just wish you the best, be strong. lean on friends and on his family who support you. you can do this! i have and i even have a 13 month old son to care for! just know the legal ramifications of what he does and what your rights are. that was one of the first things i did. get a lawyer.

Prayers to you...

Yesterday was rough, but I feel better today....

Thanks for the advice.

I really admire masosa and her strength. I have been reading all the posts and am in a similar situation. I have just implemented Plan B 6 days ago. I miss talking and seeing my husband. We had been communicating everyday even though he is living with the OW. At first I felt that it was fine and that if I could have him for a few hours that was good enough, but now I want more. I want to rebuild our marriage. The ball is in his court and he needs to make the next move and prove to me that he wants to work on our marriage. Right now he wants the best of both relationships. When he needs his family fix he comes over here and then goes back to OW. This has been mentally and physically exhausting for me. I want to believe that Plan B will make a difference and he will come out of the fog. He tells me he doesn't love her and he loves me as a person but not physically. He thinks we could have worked things out had she have not come into his life!

I just got back from my trip to Africa yesterday. It was nice and beautiful. There were times I wished so much my husbang could have been there.

I thought I would find some missed calls or email from WH when I got back. But, nothing. No contact. Nothing. I feel really hopeless and alone right now. I cant help but to believe that the M may truley be over. I wander if he even remembers me. I hate days like this. I even felt the urge to call him. But, what is there to say. He obviously doesn't want to be with me. i miss his company, and doing things together....

If you are truly in Plan B his number is blocked from calling your phone, and you have blocked any incoming e-mails by using the programming offered by your e-mail provider. You truly don't want to hear from him - anything. Had you done this before you wouldn't have heard his nasty stuff.

Plan B is to protect you from these kind of assaults - that's what they are - mental and emotional abuse.

Are you in a no-fault divorce state? if not, then he can't file for divorce - but you can. He's working to make you hate him so that you will.