Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1669746 05/29/06 02:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
WH is living with OW. Won't give her up. 17 years younger than him.

Intercepted emails. Very sexual. Also sounds as if they are planning a future together.

WH hasn't talked D to me, I think he's waiting to get $$. OW has to get D too.

WH is somewwhat cordial. Came over yesterday to fix stuff around the house. Didn't talk at all about M. He told me awhile ago this was just a trial sep. for us.

Don't know where to go from here. Got kids, so plan B will be hard, not that he sees them much anyway.

I'm thinking maybe filing D will shock him into reality. Nothing else seems to work.

At his point I'm losing respect and love for him and don't know if I even want him back.

Guess I'm just confused.

catgirl #1669747 05/29/06 02:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Hi Cat,

Have you exposed?

1. OW's husband
2. H's workplace
3. OW's workplace
4. etc....

Resilient #1669748 05/29/06 02:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
Yes.

catgirl #1669749 05/29/06 02:41 PM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Quote
At his point I'm losing respect and love for him and don't know if I even want him back.

Sorry I'm not fully up to speed on your sitch, but have you done any Plan A stuff?

I ask because the above quote indicates you are headed to losing love for your WH. Which usually means Plan B is on the horizon.

Jo

Resilient #1669750 05/29/06 02:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
I think I did plan A O.K Slipped up a few times with LB's but really focused on myself and getting me in order. Still some more work needs to be on me, but you are right. I have already lost love for WH. I really hate to even look at him knowing what he is doing (sex) to OW and how he is lying to me and the kids.

catgirl #1669751 05/29/06 03:13 PM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Hi again Cat.

I'm not sure of next steps for you, although I'm somewhat leaning towards Plan B.

Quote
I'm thinking maybe filing D will shock him into reality. Nothing else seems to work.

But one thing for sure, you don't want to file for divorce if you really don't mean it or intend to be divorced. Its not something you should use to try and shock a WS with, as it very well may backfire hon.

Jo

Resilient #1669752 05/29/06 03:14 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
How long has the A been going on?

believer #1669753 05/29/06 03:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Hi Cat,

To help others support you better, it would be beneficial for you to fill out a quick BIO that will appear at the bottom of each post.

To accomplish this, go to: [color:"purple"]My Home, Personal Info, BIO[/color]

Place a few summary lines of your sitch there.

Example:
________________________________________________

[color:"blue"]BS 29 (me)
WS 31
Married 10+ yrs
1 DS (5), 1 DD (2)
D Day 5-14-2006 (EA & PA)
Affair Duration - approx. 6 mos.
OW Single[/color]
________________________________________________

Resilient #1669754 05/29/06 04:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
I know the A has been going on at least 5 mos., I'd bet it's probably more like 7-9 mos.

I can't put bio down. Afraid WH will snoop and identify me. Sorry!

I did post some facts in my earlier posts though.

catgirl #1669755 05/30/06 02:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
Bumping up.

Catgirl,

How are you, and how are things?

Jo

Resilient #1669756 05/30/06 03:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
Thanks for your concern. I'm the same.

Just getting so tired of waiting for WH to see the light. I'm sure he wants to be with her, from the emails I read, and is just keeping me on the side for whatever reason. I can't take the pain anymore.

I think the time has come for D. Some days I want it, some days I don't. Mostly don't want it cuz of the kids, don't want them to have to go through that, but he's never here for them anyway. He's too busy boinking OW!

I just don't know if I can ever see him, or feel for him the same way again, sexually etc. knowing what he did with her and what his plans are with her.

Going to see lawyer soon.

I'm losing hope and very sad.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 654 guests, and 66 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ameliamartin, Nicholas Jason, daisyden878, Oren Velasquez, Kerniol
71,999 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by Oren Velasquez - 06/16/25 08:26 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by happyheart - 06/10/25 04:10 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0