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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
It's been over a month now since her last move out....she asked me to file and gave me a draft of a no contest settlement.
She has still said to me I love you....but says we need to end this marriage,
I also told her she was forgiven....that this isn't what I ever wanted but will do it for her.
She phoned me last week after her IC had set-up an appt. with a shrink...sorry couldn't do the spelling.
That Dr. took her off her AD and gave her something else to try...he commented that she should be a different person in 30 days....
I've had my share of bad days and today was her birthday and I missed her bad.
I need to learn to let go....
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128 |
No, no comments. I think you are on the right road.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428 |
What about you, are you on any AD's? I'd recommend seeing your family doc if you aren't. They can help you through and you'll taper them off at a later date.
I'm sorry welderboy, but I'm lost on your WW's status. Is she still seeing the OM?
Sounds to me like protecting yourself and going into plan B is a good idea.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Yes...I take 40mg of Prozac, as for WW or former she has'nt seen him in what will be 2 years July. She had told me he had phoned a couple weeks ago...saying that he had heard of her D plans and wanted to hook-up.
When she told him that she felt the A had been a mistake and not to call and that she wasn't interested in a relationship he basted her saying what a f...ing horrible person she was etc..
Today, I spoke with her on some info that I need for the lawyer and she commented on getting together for supper and that now maybe we can work this out.
I now feel I need time to think, and take care of me...I'm tired of "putting sour milk back into the frig...and pulling out again thinking it's going tp be fine".
I do think that she is now after nearly 2 and 1/2 years she is starting to feel some remorse.
Thanks.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428 |
When she told him that she felt the A had been a mistake and not to call and that she wasn't interested in a relationship he basted her saying what a f...ing horrible person she was etc.. What a Romeo he is, eh? As painful as the whole experience was for me, I did get a little giggle each time the OM would say or do something stupid. Like when he told my wife to just leave me and that I wouldn't have rights to see my son except for 1 weekend a month. Anyway...I've read your threads off and on. If I'm correct, your wife has been vacillating back and forth for months and years, taking your emotions with her in a different direction constantly. What is tormenting her so much? Why this inability to find calm? Does she have mental problems or in the middle of a midlife crisis?
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Yes...she has many physical and ??? troubles. Her career has also worked against us. Heck, I feel that her Mother may perhaps from constant sharing with her daughters over the years of her Dads cheating ways....seems that she taught them not to trust men and not let them have unconditional love.
Her Mother....new that my W was talking to this OM and supportted it...even letting him pick her up at the fqamily home.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Went to take the draft paperwork back to attorney office tonight.
He informed me that a date was set for the final D hearding. It's july 21.
I informed FWW of this and she broke down....I truly feel so sorry for her, no longer do I feel as much pain....this is what she has wanted. Later.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428 |
There is much more problems in this woman that you are responsible for, or than you can understand. She seems tormented inside.
Is she the kind of person that is uncomfortable in her own skin? People that are incapable of loving themselves are often incapable of loving others.
Good luck. I think you are headed to a safer place.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Wow....Sundog...how do you know this? Also thanks for supportting this very tough and drawn out decision of mine.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Hey....It's been really emotional today, my son from my first marriage graduated high school yesterday evening.
My parents went along with me and as I met my son outside the school and my Dad took photos of us...his Mother on 1 side and I at the other my Mom mentioned to me how my boy was choked up about everything.
I guess...it's just a shock to see your baby boy growing up and as as been going thru all this stuff it's hard to feel positive and proud that I've tried so hard to be a good Father and husband but seemed to fail.
The truly great thing is seeing my sons love for me thru his eyes and to the windows of his soul.
Yes, I'm proud of him....and it looks like he is going to come home....and live with me again. Thanks all.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Oh, Welder...
Thank you for sharing an intense sentiment...it is a stunning event, isn't it?
You did not fail...you cannot fail your son...because he loves and believes in you...not your self-image.
And you love and believe in him...and you're getting to the part where he's all gift and very little responsibility...
Enjoy. You're worth celebrating.
LA
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Thanks for your kind words. man how time flies....he really is a super kid, smart and has'nt been in any trouble.
He doesn't know the whole story on my FWW....but has seen me go thru allot of pain and things that have made the relationship between us as Father and son grow....he's been there for me so much during holidays etc,
Funny thing....Tuesday evening I picked him up after my lawyer meeting where I was told of our final hearing for the D....when I told my son....July 21st I'll be singlr he said that he still believed we could make our marriage work, I wonder what he sees in us?
Now a little parent bragging Corey will be attending WVU in the fall in the software engineering.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
You're welcome, Welder...they are true.
You are looking at your son, this newly minted man...and you might not see the wishful boy in him...validate his belief as his...he believes you both could make your marriage work. He said both of you, didn't he?
I welcome the parental bragging...which is just relief laced with excitement that Corey is attending college...a good one...in the fall. His life isn't wrecked, and that's what we fear most as parents, isn't it?
And I know you would be okay if he wasn't a super kid...not as smart or a bit of trouble. Trust me...he's your gift from God...and you found a nugget of gold in all the pain of the past year, haven't you? Your relationship with him grew closer...both there for each other.
Really cool, Welder.
LA
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 530 |
Well....I also got a call from FWW yesterday. She was coming home from work, and wanted to know what I was doing and how I was.
She said she was OK but didn't want to be divorced.
It was a bit of an odd talk....I'm starting to move ahead and things seem really different for me now? I guess spending my time for me...instead of as in the past....waiting for signs from her is starting to heal me....is good.
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