I am WS, she is BS trying to recover from DDAY 11/05. She plainly states that she will not get over what I did to her and I don't blame her at all. I acknowledge that, and am trying to be understanding about the pain she is going through and work on things that can be fixed. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to try and work things out, she still loves me, and I still love her. We are trying to make this work but are having a hard time. EN's on her part trying to be met by me but having difficulty and not always successful. The one giving me trouble is communicating ie...saying what's on my mind and not hiding things. This is actually the big one. She hates when I am silent during an arguement. My goal is to be transparent to her so she knows what I am thnking and I can be trusted by her. Keeping silent when she needs to hear something does not help my situation. There are arguements where something she says something (usually hurtful) and leaves me speechless and this drives her crazy. Or if something is bothering me I won't bring it up and she has to tear into me to get it out and we end up arguing more. I have difficulty expressing myself and often fall silent. I am pretty introspective and not as quick putting thoughts into words. I think about things too much and it'something that has been the source of lots of trouble and heartache since dday. To her it shows that I am hiding things from her. Right now all I want to do is keep the peace and work on getting along but this often causes more trouble. She told me what she wants to see but I can't always do what she asks. I've played by her rules for the most part and try to do the things that would show her I can change and be that person she loved. I am still trying to change things about myself but it doesn't happen right away and I make mistakes. I really want to be a better person than I was before the betrayal. I always thought recovery was a marathon not a sprint? She expects me to be perfect and this pressure only sets me up to fail. I try to believe in myself and do things right but am never 100%. Right now she has had it (I think), and doesn't want to put up with this any longer. The good days don't outnumber the bad days, but are starting to be closer in number now. We live together, I am a full time graduate student not working while she is working full time. I am stressed out right now and I don't know what to do. Should I take the hint and leave? How can you make something work if the other person doesn't want to try anymore? Anyone else going through something similar? I just want to know if there any hope.
thanks...

Can you get your poor BS to post here so we can help her. You can make it through this.

"How can you make something work if the other person doesn't want to try anymore?"

You can't but she is still there right? So if she really didn't want to try anymore she would have a lawyer right now. So it is somewhat obvious she has not given up all hope and all you need is a little hope to get to where you want to be.

"I've played by her rules for the most part and try to do the things that would show her I can change and be that person she loved." AHA what is for the most part mean? If you have a hard time communicating tell her you have a hard time with it. Pretty simple. If she thinks you are hiding something she may be right. Listen I knew my FWW was being dishonest for three years. Every time we got into a fight I thought to myself she has some nerve telling me I am wrong or whatever because I knew she was lying. Which to me was worse then what I was doing or what I did. Maybe she thinks you are not being honest still. Just a shot in the dark.

Then finally how about this. It is hard to leave someone or give up when you really don't think there is anything out there that is better. My mom always said "I may not like you right now but I will always love you." Be the best damn H you can. When she gets down and out and she feels hurt make her think to herself that she may not like you right now but she loves you and you are the best she can ever hope for today.