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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 3 |
My H of 18 yrs continually lies to me over serious matters. He runs a business and when there are problems he lies to the customer (making things worse) and then lies to me about it even when I get suspicious and say to him "are you sure there's no problem" or "is there anything we need to sort out?"
He has had an addiction to internet porn and lies about this to my face - I have called his bluff and it seems to have stopped now (2 weeks so far). He was using this instead of being intimate with me. Things have improved over the last 2 weeks though.
But what I want to know is, when if ever will he be honest with me. He has been like this all our marriage and he admits he has always been this way (with his parents too). After I find out and talk to him about it he either gets very angry or admits that he lied and is very sorry etc.
Am I stupid to put up with this, in a lot of ways he is a good person and husband and at least he admits he's wrong?
but he is making us suffer financially because he gets the business into problems when its not necessary.
Anyone have any thoughts on this??
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
Tried counselling? Individual Counselling (IC) for him and for you?
Why now, Tudor...after 18 years of this...you found MarriageBuilders...why now?
What was it that got you...the financial security being jeopardized?
Why do you question him when you know the answer? Why not state the answer, what your truth is? You did with the porn, which is a sex addiction...is about secrets and lying and fear of intimacy...
Still, why now? What has changed in you?
LA
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 40
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Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 40 |
It also have a WH that lies not just about A but about everything. Who his parents where (stated he was adopted when we first met) he lived with me a year and I truly never knew he had kids or a wife and former mother of his first child. I found out and was shocked beyoond belief. He moved out and 1.5 years later after divorce and counseling we started over. Now 5 years later we have been married 2.5 years and the lying and another A has started, its the weird lying. Same stuff previous job, parents(says adopted) I have never met parents live in Chicago I'm Ca. I help raise 12 and 7 year old. Your husband sounds the same. The lying is very sick and it comes out because of some low self esteem. You must start to take care of yourself and money or you will be left with lies and broke. Own your own truth, and be loving but please stick by it so you'll never have to do this again never. The lies will never stop. The porn is just another lie for selfishness. Talk to him implement plan A, a good plan A. Then prep.are to save yourself and kids. I am living proof of the lies, his first girlfriend 20 years ago and 1 child 12 said
it would be done, his ex-wife said it with 1 child, I did not listen I thought after 5 years of counseling and truth it would be done. No it resurfaces all the time. watch it this is very different then just having an A. It is all messed up.Know your own truth and do not put up with lies no matter how nice he can be.
BW 51
WH 47
OW 41 co-worker at new job
A began Jan 21,06
D-Day April 12,06
Affair acknowledged
Affair ended July 1
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5 |
I married some one who told me he was only married once,I found out he's been married twice.Why would any one lie about some thing so stupid? Why do people lie? I don't know when you find out let me know please.
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