I was wondering if any of you who have gone through D, if exposing/evidence was used against them in the D. Such as harrassment etc.

I do not recall such reports from anyone.

If I understand your question correctly, a WS attempting to use a BS's exposure of the affair as "evidence" of harrassment in a divorce setting would be just too, too ironic - and funny. I would have given up beer for a week for my WS to have tried that. It would have opened the door for all sorts of legal fun in that they both (her and OM) denied the affair - and continue to do so to this day, despite getting married. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

"Go ahead, make my day."

Just the thought of it now makes me salivate.

If you're being threatened with a "harrassment" accusation due to affair exposure, I suggest you keep doing what you're doing because it must be working.

WAT

How could that be viewed as "harrassment?" I am confused.

Probably because to the WS that's what it felt like. Their perfect little fantasy was tarnished. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ooooo, poor baby!!

WAT

Cat,

It really depends on where you live. I doubt that it could be harrasment no matter where you live. Of course it could be harrassment if you call her 80 times a day and threaten her. Or if someone has asked you not to call again and you do.

I live in a no fault state. Simply put there are two reasons for a divorce: irreconcilable differences or insanity. In other words my wife could sleep with everyone I know, steal my money, spit on my food and kick the dog and when we file it is for irreconcilable differences.

If you live in a fault state then there are certain guidelines as to what a fault is. I highly doubt that calling your WH girlfriend/job/friends/family and exposing it is a fault on your part.

Isn't it more "harrassing" to HAVE an affair?

Just got told by WH that my evidence would be used in court if needed.

I had emailed some of his friends as exposure and WH said I had no right to tell everyone our business. I told him I just wanted to tell my side of the story and made that clear in the emails.

Used in court for what?

Excellent!!

"If needed" for what? - to show he's an adulterer?

Pretty clever, those WSs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Ignore this threat. That's what it is.

Who else can you expose to?

WAT

WH is wrong there is no evidence of anything. Again depending on where you live there are certain guidelines to divorce proceedings. Exposing an affair has no bearing on those proceedings.

As a matter of fact his threats can possibly be used in court depending on what he is saying.

If you have any doubt google divorce in your state and find the grounds for divorce.

I guess to see that I was invading his privacy, got into his email accounts, phone records etc.

I've exposed to everyone.

your WH is a hand job that is blowing smoke up your [censored]. He has nothing to complain about... and most judges will be infuriated at his ploy. Trust me, his attorney will NEVER let that become an issue. He is a bully and I would call his bluff. F-him.

I agree with everyday!!!

Invasion of privacy is a very touchy issue. If any of those accounts were accessed at your home and the bills are sent there as well there is a limited expectation of privacy if any. Marriage is not built on a foundation of privacy. If he tries to bring this into court he will look like the blazing idiot he apparently is. No attorney in their right mind would let him tell a judge that he expected to be able to keep his A from you and since you wouldn't let him you were invading his privacy.

Heck he might even say you defamed his character.LOL

That is silly. Your husband does not have the right to the privacy to destroy you behind your back. You can't "invade" something to which you have a RIGHT to see.

I suspect the only thing WH and his attorney could try to use the exposure issue for would be to show you as spiteful and full of revenge but that tactic will surely fail. It's irrelevant to the case at hand and I sincerely doubt your WH’s lawyer will bring it up.

If he does, and the judge doesn’t break out laughing, all you have to do is to tell the court you were following the principles expressed by a renowned psychologist and marriage counselor. Bring SAA to court with you and print a copy of WAT’s “Exposure 101” thread. At the very least, even if the court doesn't comment on whether the program is effective or not, it will have to accept you were making a good faith effort to save your marriage in accordance with that program.

I am, of course, not an attorney and this legal non-advice is worth exactly what you're paying for it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Check with your attorney, okay?