My wife had previously posted about a month and a half ago, about two previous affairs. It can be found here Wife's Post .

A month and a half later, she has now had another affair. An actual physical and emotional affair, for over a month. Not the one night stands and simply emotional affairs afterwards that were previous.

All of this has happened within 8 months.

I was working on forgiving the past two, and trying to get over the anger and pain of them, when this newest thing hit. I had to check her email accounts to find out, as she was not willing to tell me about it. I asked repeatedly if it was happening, and of course was lied to, as before.

I love my wife. I have tried everything I know how, to show her. It is so hard through all the anger, pain, and bitterness to do it, but I have tried. She doesn't understand how all of this has made me feel, no matter what I tell her - and she gets resentful of the fact I am angry. She gets resentful of the fact that I check up on her when I know she is lying. And so she acts out, almost like a child.

I was trying Plan A for about 3 1/2 weeks before this last affair came to light. How can I continue it? I haven't even gotten over the last one, in which I was more than willing to accept some blame, and attempt to change my patterns that she said were the cause.

I want to be loving, and I want to do what she needs - but when I do, she takes full advantage of it. She stops doing what *I* need.

I just don't know what to do. I don't even know who I can tell and talk to now, because I know they will tell me to leave. I don't want to leave. I want to make it work - but I don't know what more I can do.

She says all the right things, cries when appropriate, pleads when appropriate - but I can't help thinking it's all an act. It's so hard to believe anyone could act like this, and still care for their spouse. I can't even comprehend doing something like this to her. It all seems so foreign to me and I'm confused - perhaps lost is a better word.

Help? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

""I love my wife.""

But, does she love you?? I think NOT!!

""She doesn't understand how all of this has made me feel, no matter what I tell her""

""but I can't help thinking it's all an act.""

""It's so hard to believe anyone could act like this, and still care for their spouse.""

Dude, I have read the past emails, like when you broke into her thread and told us all she was lying!

Maybe you are both too emotionally immature to be married right now. Specially if you are 10,000 miles apart. I mean what can you do for each other over that distance and time??

IMHO

Do the two of you have any children?

Do you believe in polygamy? Because it sounds as if your wife does. Having 3 affairs is a way of life, not an aberration of character. If I were you, I would just accept that you cannot change her and make your decisions from that starting point. If you can live with sharing her with others, then you have your gal. I would strongly suggest REGULAR STD testing, though.

No, we do not.

Yes you do know what to do. Why don't you talk about what it is that is preventing you from doing it? You are a young guy. Your WW has apparently had quite a long history of waywardness even before she married you. Is she still half way around the world? IMO you need to get out of this quickly. I will also say that both of you are in some serious need of IC and I mean that sincerely. Please don't be offended by that. You both individually could use some help. Don't get into another relationship in the mindset you are in now.

Pardner, Dr. Harley has said on a number of occasions that it's difficult to get by one case of infidelity and almost impossible for a marriage to recover from multiple adulteries. Being without children reduces the chances even further.

You are correct, most of us do not see a real chance of reconciliation. You've already received suggestions to cut your losses and find a woman who has some moral fiber. I have to echo them. There is very nearly a zero chance for you to reconnect with this woman. MB principles require a sense of integrity this woman apparently does not have.

That having been said, you have only one chance to stop this cycle of adulteries and that is to contact her commander wherever she is. I assure you that will stop her trolling for men at the remote station. She will receive an order to have no contact with the men and she will be watched carefully to make sure she obeys the order.

After that, you'll have to find some way to reconnect with her, and frankly, I don't know how you can do that 10,000 miles apart. You'd have to try to meet her somewhere when she has a chance for leave and work hard on reigniting your relationship.