My wife and I decided to reconcile early January 2005 after a 5 month separation where she moved across country. I moved to be with her and we began to rebuild our marriage and love towards each other the last 1.5 years. Things are very good and we continue to share our intimacy and grow together.

I guess I had some hope that my mom would begin to focus on her life and not keep the anger and hatred toward my wife. I was wrong, my mother cannot even say her name and I won't bore you with all of the other stuff she has told me over the phone. So, after moving 1800 miles to rebuild my marriage I have no interaction with my immediate family besides the occasional phone call on my part of course. I have gone on my own to see my mother but there is no sense of family whatsoever, I feel truly like the outcast and have felt this way many years ago which, to some degree, led my wife and I to move away from our home state. I can understand this to a point but had thought people would see the progress we are making and learn to respect us once again and slowly begin to interact. Not the case at all.

Now we have an opportunity to relocate once again and will be taking it as there really is nothing keeping us here. My wife was apparently never well liked by my family and there have been several occasions where my brother made unflattering and sarcastic comments about her through the years. Again, I won't bore you with all of the BS but suffice to say my wife never felt very welcome in my family.

Just curious what you all think. I have tried to maintain focus on my marriage but also wanted to try to rebuild my family connections but this has not worked at all. Now I am leaving and I guess feel a little guilty about it? I don't know, I only realize time moves on and we are only getting older. Life is too short for this crap.

Thanks for your opinions.

I was told as a teen by a friend of my parents, that the best thing for me to do was find a mate,settle down, and stay far away from my parents. Needless to say, that exactly what I've done, my mom and stepfather hate my husband! My mom has only seen her grandkids twice, the oldest will be 8 and the youngest will be 4. What a shame, and it does hurt! However, like dad said when he met H, he asked "Are you sure you want to be with him?" I'm white and my H is black. I said "yes, and you have the choice to be in my life or out of it!" He said "I was just asking because I'm not the one who has to live with your decision!" To me, that was an important conversation between my dad and I, which I didn't know very well at the time! It's not a matter of what other people think and feel, It's what you think and feel that matters. Yes, it would be great to have at least my mom in my life, but her happiness does not determine mine and it does hurt. If you love your W and have worked through the mess you have been through then you deserve to be happy! I love my H and kids despite the trails we have been through. Even with the A, I can't say that I would change a thing!

"That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger!"

Keep up the good work with your W, live like these no tomorrow!