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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1 |
i am recently married and my children(11&13)are causing problems and i feel as though they are trying to break up my H and myself. my youngest says he doesnt like my H and thinks that his father and I are the ones providing for him when actually it is my H and myself. This is upsetting and now my H feels like why even try anymore.....help...open to suggestions <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> [color:"blue"] [/color] [color:"blue"] [/color]
help (0%, 0 Votes)
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help (0%, 0 Votes)
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416 |
“””I am recently married and my children(11&13)are causing problems and i feel as though they are trying to break up my H and myself.”””
OK…. First off welcome to marriage builders… 1st off let me ask you a couple of questions…. Did you allow your children addiquate time to grieve for the loss of their family unit before dating this new man? Parents often selfishly overlook that children need time to grieve, some say 18 months to 2 years.. Plus if it were a rather quick transition they kids will likely look at it as you trying to “replace” their dad whom they have every right to love.
“””my youngest says he doesnt like my H and thinks that his father and I are the ones providing for him when actually it is my H and myself.”””
Has he given reasons why he doesn’t like your new man? One thing you have to remember is that your children have every right to love their father. If you or your new man are bad mouthing the children’s father in any way you are impeding on that right and in the end hurting yourself. How involved is the children’s bio dad in their life? Do y’all trash talk the bio dad?
“””This is upsetting and now my H feels like why even try anymore.....”””
Doesn’t want to try what? Have you done much reading on step parenting and how to integrate a step family? If you haven’t you’ll find that your new man is not the disciplinarian of the house, your are. So who does the discipline in your house?
Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz
Bill
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
Listen to Bill.
Read up on step parenting. Also, you might consider some family counseling.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243 |
I have no doubt that our daughter has fomented problems btn my unfaithful wife and I so she can assure the divorce takes place and have her permissive mother all to herself. But she is cunning and knows how to manipulate the situations to make it appear she had no idea what she was dong would cause the problems it did.
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