I have been feeling horrible all week. WH has given me about 1 hour of time in the past two weeks. He thinks that our time alone with the children is enough time spent together. We had an argument about sex- he doesn't want to give out because he is too tired. I could understand, but H is out fixing the cars today and the house. I am sick anyways, but told him that I was feeling distant and thatI would love for him to hold me, talk to me, or give me some affection while the kids were watching TV this morning. I t turned into well why are you B#$!%$#ing to me. Everytime we have time to togetehr you always say all the things that I do wrong. I told him I needed to let him know how I felt this week so that it wouldn't be repeated. I let down my pride to tell him what I needed to feel loved. H is now outside doing house work, I am feeling like I don't want to stay with H mostly because of the A, the lack of my needs being met now and for the past 10 years, and the fact that H doesn't want to address any of the situations without having an argument about how all I ever do is complain and why this justifies his affair. He says he has been with me everyday for the past 10 years and I never give him space. It is great that we haven't spent anytime together this week. I would leave completely, but their is one little piece in me that says to stay. I am lost and confused.

I am going to go pack my bags and think about what I should do. Any suggestions would be helpful! As I need to make a decision soon.

If you leave him right now, what will you have you learned about yourself?

Pep

Is his A over?
How long?
Any counseling?
Any previous affairs?

cfc..... stay strong... why don't you go outside and take him some water or lemonade.

My sitch is all up and down too and my S gets confused when I am all over the place... Don't pack your bags but take the kids to the park get some space but get your head straight.

Can you help your H with anything, bring him tools... have you got involved with his cars or what he is doing outside? Its a partnership and if your waiting for him to meet you half way then he wont....

I remember our pastor saying once, marriage is not 50/50 its 100/100, that is something I am too realizing and working but you got to stay in the game and not worry about your needs you need to focus on yourself - no matter if your needs by him are not being mett. Go re-read Plan A material.

I probaly will have learned that i can try an dtry and not help WH come to reaize that our marriage needs work and to follow a plan consistently to work. I have been on a roller coaster sice last November, when i he told me he hadn't loved me fo rten years. Then I confronted him 2 weeeks later asking if he was having an A. he refused to tell me. January I cited specific information including OW's name and asked for specifics. Two weeks ago amybe three he finally told me the whole story. I don't think H is still in A (almoost positive -he has no time, I check phone, email, I surprise him at work, I call freqently, he says NC- so I trust him what else can I do? We can't afford MB conseling, we went to other conselor who drove H to want divorce and blamed everything on me. H's ideas were validated, but this is not what the conselor intended. H hears what he wants to.

The A was only 2 months and two SF. Not very large, but the fog talk and unwillingness to work on our M has cause d alot of love bank withdrawls. My bank is empty. Today I am very sick and emotional depleted. i decided to stay because H actually wanted to take care of me. I thought the roller coaster stopped, but maybe i am gettign on a new ride?