Here's my issue-
3 years ago I found out my H had been secretly talking to his exgirlfriend who was recently divorced. They had remained friends after their breakup, and throughout her M, but had kinda lost touch over the years due to her H not being ok with them talking, etc. SHe contacted him after her divorce. We were only dating at the time, and he actually told me she had called him. He even gave me the impression that she was interested in getting back together. He told me he was much more interested in pursuing our relationship, and that I had nothing to worry about.
Fast forward a year. We are living together, and his cell phone bills are out higher than normal. Long story short- I found out they had been talking like every other day for who knows how long. I confronted him, he refused to stop-telling me they were just friends, I was being insecure, he had been friends with her for 15 years, yada yada...I told him me or her. He promised and he lied. It was a vicious cycle. He would promise to stop- Get caught, promise again..... It finally stopped after the 3rd time he got caught, (This time with a calling card-he got smart and quit calling her on his cell phone)
It has been 3 years, and 2 weeks ago I found a different calling card. I called it and the last call was to her, but it was 1 1/2 years ago. We have been working hard on our M over the past 3 months, so I really hated to drudge up something from that long ago right now. Anyway- I was cleaning out his truck today, and found a phone number for a girl he had a 2 year affair with(she was married, I had not even met him yet) I asked him about it and he sweared he had not talked to her since we have been M (2 years) We have been living together for 4, and he admitted he talked to her since we have been living together, but not since we have been M.

Now- my ?? is- how do I handle this? I really do not trust his word, but how do I prove otherwise? We have been on the uphill of a very bad time in our R, and I would hate to drudge all this up if he is in fact being honest(which due to his history of lies is hard for me to accept)
These girls both live out of state- and I know there no PA, but the first was without any doubt an EA. I would appreciate any advice on where to go from here. Also- if anyone else has been through similar situations- how did you handle it. He still refuses to call the first sich an EA.

I feel like I am being naive', but I also have no proof to confront him with........

How about keeping your guard up and start a full-scale intelligence operation to find out if anything is going on? In my signature block, there is a link to the thread "Spying 101." Take a look there to see if there's anything there you can adapt to your situation. Don't apologize to anyone about snooping. Don't feel bad about it. Your husband has made it necessary because of his actions and you need to find out what's going on before you get any further into this relationship.

There's no indication in your post about your husband's online activity. Does he email or use AIM? If so, a keylogger to track online use would seem to be a great place to start. If you think it likely he would use a calling card on his cell phone from his car, you should consider a digital recorder under the car seat or something of the like. You'll find more suggestions in the thread I've linked to. Tell us more about his habits, RW, and we may be able to offer more suggestions, okay?

The man does not use an internet. I was so good at spying on him the first time- it pretty much turned him into a master undercover artist! I know he uses the calling card on pay phones, so no way to track unless I find the calling card- then they only give you the last # called- not a detail.
I am just going to keep an eye open to calling cards. I already check his cell records every month, but they have been clean as a whistle.
I guess until I have hard evidence, I should just continue on the recovery process and if something concrete comes up-deal with it then. Finding the # was terrible, but my H never cleans his truck out, so it very well might be 2 years old......

Check that link in my signature block, okay, RW? It may key something in your mind that will be productive.