When is the infatuation stage over?

How do you know?

I'm worried because I've come at this one a different way. I saw challenges where there were none. I saw obstacles that didn't exist, and each time I see this man, I like him better and better, and there are less concerns, not more.

So, can I safely say that after 6 months, 10 months, a year, infatuation is over?

The Infatuation is over when you no longer view how he scratches his ear as cute, but as gross; when you no longer view his desire to quit work and become an artist as "novel", but as questionable, etc etc.

In other words, the rose colored glasses come off and you see reality, and you question whether you can live with the differences between you two (and there will always be differences). This is the beginning of the Uncertainty stage, when you are questioning whether the match is workable for the longterm, not just when you are madly in love <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I don't think that you can put a time estimate on it. For instance, you can probably sustain Infatuation much longer in a LDR, because you are not dealing with the person's daily habits regularly, but are rather spending mini-vacations with each other. Sort of like for people who have affairs - the reality of day to day life can be ignored. Conversely, if you spend a lot of time with a person, you may leave Infatuation much much quicker.

AGG

GG,

Good reply AGG. Just to add to that, another way to tell that you are seeing the "real person" is when you realize exactly what his/her shortcomings are, but love them just the same.

The books generally say 6 mo. to 8 mo. for infatuation to end.

Awesome AGG!

Infatuation is when you don't go numb from the neck down when you stare at them straight into their eyes and become a puddle on the floor. while I can still do that with bf, I also know that he has on occasion belched in front of me...he has also had gas (ewwwww) but excused himself, and still goes to another part of his home to go to the restroom if I am present. which is nice.

infatuation is when you have that urge to be with them to grow and grow at an alarming rate. You can't figure out why you were not with them always. that kinda feeling I think GG.

but it is GOOD that you are still seeing a bit of reality now and then. I do too. I see the few obstacles that are in bf's and I way. I see them as they could become a potential road block...if we don't solve them in near future...like my living here and him living there. stuff like that. but glad you see them. means your rose colored glasses WORK CORRECTLY!

proceed ahead my friend

But I never had that kind of infatuation. LOL. I always saw challenges. It's weird, different.

Green --
Do you mean you never had that giddy, silly feeling?
The "crush" kind of feeling -- thinking he's just so darn cute or wonderful?

I kinda/sorta do...but I also see reality.

I wish I could go back to the total rose glasses thing.

GEEZ WASN'T IT FUN WAAAAY BACK THEN?

I totally do....and I keep wondering when its going to fade.
And it hasn't faded at all.

I know we have issues, I know what they are.

But I still spent this entire weekend looking at him and thinking :: he is so... wonderful/handsome/amazing/smart/adorable/funny/sweet/thoughtful/cute/(ok you get the picture, I'll stop...)

lexxxy...I live in ga. please send me your rose glasses asap...maybe as a late birthday? or b/c you feel soooo sorry for your poor friend who has the green apple quickstep!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Nope. I never thought he was just so cute I could die, I never got goo-goo. Instead, I started by thinking I had a good time and he was interesting. I was curious. Then, I thought, hmm, he’s really got a good sense of humor, but kinda of quiet. Then, I thought, what the heck is he doing dating a woman with children who can have any more? I progressed to being impressed by his various traits, but always seeing danger signs. He is so totally different from my old “type.” This is so totally different. It feels weird, but good. Deep. I don’t want to live in his breast pocket the way I did years ago when I was in love/ infatuated.

I wonder if you can fall in love without having been infatuated? Apparently you can.

I do have pink sunglasses.....lol
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Green, it sounds like such a sensible approach. Is it "all" there? Does he meet all the EN's in a good way?

If you're asking if the physical tingles are there, oh,yeah. They're there. Maybe I've just gotten good at separating lust from the other l words.

wow...I am impressed. lexxxy has pink sunglasses and gg gets "the tingles".

just when my friends here cease to amaze me...we get a tad cooler each day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

yea gg...does he meet en's well? fess up girl