She is so intent on meeting me tommorrow to get this finalized, you know I have done so many things her way and havent stood up to her, you can only let someone push you so much before you say enough, I will not do this her way, I will signs paper when she has a cashiers check for $4500 so I know I'm getting my money that supported her and her boyfriend. All the time I have known her she walks away from her problems well I'm sorry but this isnt just some dating or working relationship you can just walk away from.

I talked with a divorce attorney yesterday, he says he has no problems screwing her over, all i want is my money that supported her and her boyfriend, he says we can get that in the decree, however i probably will never see a dime, we can go to trial in march for adultery, run her through the mud, then watch as the judge who is assigned to my case very favorable to women in financial matters, screw me with half of her credit card debt, and alimony, if he chooses, this wont happen until march, moral of the story if you are a woman, cheat on your husband, steal his money and support your affair, support your boyfriend, get a divorce and not have to pay anything, great law system dont you think, I think there will be a huge prenuptial agreement in my next marriage, so hopefully she won't get an attorney bc she doesnt think this should be that complicated and just sign the decree and i can hopefully recoup some of my financial losses, or take her back to court for contempt and try to get money by spending money on attorney's fees.

JJ,

What is money worth to you? What are symbols worth to you? Who do you want to be in six months? A year? Five years?

Talk to another attorney. You got his point of view...talk to a woman attorney. Consider mediation instead of courts...as the middle ground between no court and all court.

Sounds like you're thirsting for justice, protection, for someone huge hand to come down and prove you have been wronged, betrayed and to smack her to balance it out.

You have been wronged, JJ. Betrayed. You have enormous pain, anger and fear. You didn't earn an A in any way...there is no justice in it.

Did the attorney say that once she filed for D that the marital debt ended on that day? Are you protected from her running up more credit cards? Have you taken her off the bank accounts?

I believe in symbols, JJ...what you do for yourself, in protection, shows self you know you're worth it. Have you been served yet? Do you have papers that spell out what she filed?

Did you meet with her? Talk with her since? If you are protected from further marital debt, then can you go to Plan B?

You weren't a fool or irresponsible that she did what she did...she did it. Period. No reflection on you. You cannot control another person and what they do is about THEM, not you.

Your choices matter. Choose what you can live...now, six months from now, a year from now...five years from now...with no remorse.

LA

Well I believe in truth, however truth will cost me an arm and a leg, and in the long run does it matter, I know what happened, she knows what happened, God knows what has happened, will it matter to people who will never see the divorce decree to have the preverbally hester pryene scarlet letter attached to her, there is no mediation she is willing to walk away from everything and just sign the freaking papers, i could put pay me a million bucks and she would probably sign it, where do i want to be in 6 months long gone from this, I want to know that I did everyting I could to reconcile, to forgive, that I wouldnt change anything I did, or the way I acted, I want to know that I will not be married to a cheating spouse, that this happened for a reason, to make me a better person in dealing with hurtful and painful situations in my life, to not blame myself for others actions, but not to let others actions have such a dramatic impact on my life and make my life come to a screeching halt, I dont want people to feel sorry for me they so oh I'm so sorry, dont feel sorry for me, I didnt break the commitment, feel sorry for her because she is the one going to crash when she realizes what has happened and that there is no going back, plan b has been in effect for a few weeks now, well i will forget this for a few days while celebrating my 30th birthday in las vegas.

Well after my trip to vegas, I came to the realization that I'm ready to get the final divorce papers signed, and start moving on,I feel totally great loving myself, trying new things, and not regretting anything I did to save my marriage, whether I looked pathethic in others eyes, or foolish, I'm really grateful for the things that have occured because with out them I wouldn't have really found out who I am.

Happy belated bday and welcome back, JJ...

You did find out how relationships work with who you really are, too, didn't you?

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I hope you'll continue reading and growing...life is a long journey, and as you found out, it can be pricey but worth every minute.

Our choice, eh?

LA

I did find out how relationships work with who I really am, I have learned alot and will continue to learn, bc if I don't somehow I will end up in the same place.

Are you gonna share your journey here?

LA