My H has a minor past with other women. He was a Marine and had a few gf's before me. Nothing too much.
The one he dated just before me, we'll call her "Holly" always seemed to bother me for some reason. He always told me that she meant nothing to him and that she was having rough times then and thought he could help save her. (He's always been straight laced and doesn't do drugs or anything illegal.)
About a month after we started dating she had called him at his Dad's house and he talked to her on the phone, when I walked in the door he hung up the phone with her.
That was the first and only time I know of that he talked to her. There is one other time that he possibly could have talked to her but he wouldn't admit it then (This was about 3 months after we started dating) and there's no point in bringing it up to him now.
Anyway, we saw her about 6 months ago at the dog park in our area. She tried to say hi to him and he pretended that he didn't hear her and we left. He was honest enough to tell me who she was before she ever even noticed we were there.
Well, on an email account I have, I'm in a group for mommy's. She just so happened to be in the same group. She mentioned something in the group about how she gave birth that sounded interesting and I talked to her not knowing who she was.
When I found out she was my hubby's last ex before he met me, I had a weird feeling. I had always thought I would be mean and mad and jealous but I didn't feel any of those. I felt like I liked her personality becuase we had talked a few times before I found out who she was.
Anyway, she found my H on there and sent him an email which he responded to. I didn't get mad because it didn't say anything bad. Each had complimented each other's children.
Well, I checked his email account yesterday because I was wondering if she had written him anymore (he knows I have his password by the way because I change his account settings for him all the time) and there was an email in there from her stating that she still has his old letters and some of the pictures that they had taken and then says "it was crazy times for both of us." and finished off by saying that his "wife is very sweet."
My big thing is I don't feel betrayed by her saying this because she doesn't know me from Adam and he can't control what she says to him. The thing that bothers me is if he really didn't care about her like he says he didn't why would she have letters from him? People don't keep mean letters and people don't write nice letters unless there's feelings behind it. Is it right for me to be feeling betrayed about this?
My other question is, I haven't told him that she said this, I figure he'll find the letter on his own. But, then I feel like I'm setting him up because then I would inevitably see what he responds to her and I'm worried about what he might say.
What if he says "yeah, they were good times." or whatever? What if I find out he misses her? I saw a picture of her and she's way skinnier than me. (I've been VERY insecure about my body since our child was born because of stretch marks and the belly that won't go away.)
Anyway, I know I'm being immature and probably whiny but I just don't like to think of my hubby being taken from me or loving someone else the way he loves me even if it was before I met him. I just need advice, or CONSTRUCTIVE critisism. I can handle that.
