I have been going through an informal seperation for the last few weeks. It is the classic case of me not handling my responsibilities. I have for most of our 10 year marriage been able to do my thing. Play golf when I should be attending parties, group outings etc. My wife and I have been at each others throats the last 9 months or so while making no progress. She has been telling me for that period that she needs space and time to see if she can find the feelings that she once had. I moved out 2 weeks ago, but could not take it, thinking I can make some changes that she needs, she just says she doesn't feel it any longer. I understand but we have kids and I can't imagine us not being together. We have been going to counseling, but that has not helped much. She has moved into an extra house that we have. I have had a lot of people tell me to get a lawyer and to get a PI. I am 100% sure there is no one else. She is not that type of person and I followed her anytime she was without our kids. We have had the discussion that that is the one thing that would make me hate her, and she says she understands that this is something she can wait on if or when we are divorced. Now to the question I have. I have told her repeatedly that I can makje those changes, it is something I want to do, not to get her back, but to make her happy and feel loved. She has been out with our kids now for 3 days with no contact. I am having a really hard time, and need some advise from anyone that can help. What can I do to make her see that we will be better when we both take a deep breath and reallize that we have a problem that can be corrected. I cry all day, can't eat or sleep. Can't stop thinking about what I am losing. I know it is very common for men to try to get their wife back, but I think we are 50-50 right now and am looking for someone that may have that magic thing that can lean those odds to the side of us at least giving the changes a chance to save our marriage. We have a great life when we are happy, it has just been so long since we were really happy. PLEASE HELP.
Thanks Ryan

That magic thing is right on the MB site, under the Concepts section. The tools are here, use them.
Your wife needs to see the changes before she will accept them, and it will be longer for her to believe they are permanent.
There is something called Plan A on the site, which is intended to draw your spouse back into the marriage. The premise is for you to learn to be the best person you can be, and the best spouse to your mate. It is focused on meeting your spouses needs, not your own.
This is a great place to start.

The next two MB seminars are below. Can you get to either of them to jump start your recovery?

June 9th & 10th
Embassy Suites Hotel - Bloomington
Minneapolis, Minnesota
More information...
REGISTRATION OPEN


August 25th & 26th
Sheraton Gateway Hotel
San Francisco, California
More information...
REGISTRATION OPEN

Please read on this site. The concepts work well for many. When you read about Plan A, remember that the goal is not necessarily to win back the heart of the spouse but to make yourself a better person.