Ok here is the brief story...I have been married almost 2 years, 2 years June 19th. Recently my husband has befriended a co-worker whom happens to be a very attractive female. He never talked of her much, introduced us once when I stopped by work, so I haven't thought much of it. A few days ago I came across emails that she had written him and he had written her that upset me. They were saying things like 'I miss you...can't wait to talk to you...' she was calling him honey, sexy, sweetie...everything. If that weren't enough...while I was on vacation, out of state for a couple weeks, he went to her house to play cards with her husband, well in one of the emails she apologized for coming on to him the other night, and he replyed with it was okay, he thought she was rather cute. She said that she hoped he wasn't mad, he said and I quote, "I love you too much to be mad at you". WTF? Is it just me, or are these things you don't say to someone as a friend? So I confronted him...he got mad b/c I was "snooping" through his stuff, which I was not doing, I was simply looking for someones email address I knew he had when I came across emails titled "hey sexy" and "hey honey". He continued to not understand why I was so upset by this, he saw no problem with it and thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. I just want to know if anyone here thinks there is something there or if I'm just being paranoid???

You are not being paranoid.

And keep up the snooping.

Call her husband ASAP - right after you secure copies of those e-mails. Be prepared to share the e-mails with her husband.

This is an affair. Period.

His denials are straight out of the "WS Got Caught... Change the Focus" handbook.
Your H is involved in an A. I am sorry that you are going through this. Read all there is to read on this site. Hire a PI if needed....gather information and expose, expose, expose.
Best of luck to you.

Completely Agree, This is an affair.

I feel bad snooping through his stuff...part of me just wants to believe him and move on. But then a part of me feels like ther's more than what he is telling. He changed his password right after I left the night that I told him that I had found the emails. I did print and save a copy of them...and then I found an offline IM on his yahoo from her lastnight telling him that she missed him because he moved to a different department at work and they don't work right next to one another anymore, that she wanted him to call her, she missed hearing his voice....how can he say that's just friendly conversation??? He wants the four of us to hang out some time, her husband, her, him and me. I think I am, as hard as it's going to be, this way I can monitor the way they act around one another...and if she becomes to flirtatious or foward with him while I'm there I'll just speak up there in front of everyone and let her know how I feel about it. I just can't imagine him cheating on me...sorry to go on and on about this, but it's a hard concept to grasp.

NO!

Call her husband and let him know of your suspicions - NOW! Offer copies of the e-mails.

What kind of business do they work in? One of them will most certainly have to change jobs.

Call the husband. Do not delay. DO NOT tell your husband that you'll be doing this.

WAT

mrose,

If what you are telling us is true, I have a feeling that the other woman's husband already knows. But never the less please take worthatry's advice and call her husband and expose.

God Bless
OAM

He can say this because he's lying to protect his relationship with the other woman (OW). Your husband's mind (and morals) have been invaded by an alien. Don't expect anything he does or says to make any sense in the context of a healthy marriage. His actions and words will be perfectly normal for someone who is involved in an affair. Everything you've posted is 100% typical of a wayward spouse (WS).

Unfortunately your life, his life and your marriage are changed forever. Fortunately you're in the right place (this forum) to get the help you need to save your marriage.

Closely follow the advise of the vetrans that are posting to you - like WAT.

Are you already acquainted with this couple?

If yes, your call should be received with credibility.

If not, be prepared for the husband to doubt your credibility. This is why offering the e-mails is so important.

It's vital that you NOT let your husband know you'll be calling the other husband. If you tip him off, your H will warn sweetie pie and she'll do pre-emptive damage control: "Honey - some crazy woman is calling around claiming some girls in the office are having affairs with her husband! Can you believe that?? Sheese - some people will do ANYTHING!"

WAT

Bwahahahaha!! Don't they all.
So did my husband. We went out on two different occassions with the ow and owh, and this was two months before the I'm not in love with you speech and 4 months before DD.

Back then I didn't understand why there was an undercurrent going on with OW and feeling like she didn't like me. Also looking back, I recall eating out with ow and owh, and her flounting her boobs around and having an attitude.

Hindsight is 20-20.

The relationship has gone to inappropriate and moving quickly towards an EA or PA.

Stop it now.

Read, Not just Friends, and His Needs, Her Needs quickly.

k.d.'s Heartbreak

You are getting the best advice. One more thing, you also need to expose at the office. Do they share a supervisor? I'm guessing not any more if he changed departments. If they do, go to the supervisor. If not, you should send a certified letter to human resources and to each of their supervisors.

In the letter state that you are concerned and want to save your marriage. Ask what they are going to do about this situation.

Have you read up on Plan A? Part of killing the affair is exposing it as an affair can not thrive in the light.

In the just found section of this forum there are several threads at the top of the list that will give you great information.

You were wise to save copies of the emails.

Secure a copy of Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley and read it. Read all of the articles here on the site not just the forum.

Hang in there- you are in for quite a ride.